Dealing with your parents and their expectations can be the most overwhelming, and anxiety-provoking activity that a human being will deal with in their life
Lucky for you though, I will show give you a different perspective from the one you have when it comes to your parents, and their expectations
As always, don't take my word for it, EVER. Simply consider it. If you come to realize it is not true for you then chug it out
Why should you listen to what I am saying?
My dad is the hyper-successful and extremely hardworking type. I am talking CTO of an international Bank, who also runs marathons and who is always right... (lol)
You can not imagine how much we argue...but it's normal because we are both very clear on what works for us
and we DEEPLY believe that we know what is good for everyone else around us.
So, consider the fact that everyone in my family is the economist and engineer type who work for big companies.
heck, my sister who is 5 years younger than I am, currently oversees about 6 people who each oversee about 12 people who each oversee about 500 (?) people
She is a beast who obtained two degrees at the same time, one in Engineering and another in Business.
Most of my family is this way, and I am the oldest of the sons and also the firstborn of the most successful person in the family.
So, trust me when I say that I know what it means to feel pressured by your environment and your family
It's even more because the sons and daughter of my parents friends are also on their way to becoming high-level executives and some already are.
Even though my dad is not exactly screaming to the world that I am a full time freelancer waiter, there is no one in my family who does not admire me.
They understand that I am playing a long term game and that I am willing to sacrifice everything to get what I want
I remember the day when it all changed...because I had infinite arguments with my parents about my future and what I was doing
I was constantly trying to please them and make them feel proud
But here is a little secret that I want to share with you:
Your parents do NOT have any clue what you should do with your life.
Why? Because no one in this world "knows" what they want to do with their life because that concept is a complete fabrication
Even if you are one of those guys who, at 12, decides to be a cook and then continues to be a cook for 60 years, that person is constantly figuring out what to do next.
We are constantly growing and evolving and we are also terrified of change, which is why we love the idea that a person who could "figure out" their life and then go on
It does not exist
You will never have anything in your life which is static and not subject to change
A parent who tells you that you should know what you want to study 19 or 20 is full of ...
( I'll spare you the profanity)
Why do parents do that then?
What happens to parents is that they sense the fact that you are insecure and they become blindsided by trying to help you.
The other thing that happens is that your parents are human beings, who care A LOT about what other people think of them.
Like most people, your parents have a ton of regrets and they are now hoping to live vicariously through you in some ways.
Does that means your parents are to blame or that they are bad people?
Maybe they are actually awful human beings...OR maybe the fault lies with you
Maybe you allowed yourself to get very comfortable at your parent's house, and show no signs of ever leaving the damn place (wink wink)
Maybe your parents are being pushy and rude because they are trying to get you to leave the house and grow
Look, the way to deal with your parent's expectations is the same way you deal with everyone else:
Once YOU become sold on your future and what you want to do, people will sense it and they will back the hell off.
My parents have not said a word to me about my future for the past seven years, which was exactly when I reached that point.
That day the relationship with my parents made a 180 and it never turned back.
To summarize: Your parents are nervous because you do not believe in yourself and they can clearly sense it.
You need to work on that and stop wasting time hoping that they will believe in you when you do not.
And lastly, it is not your culture, because all cultures have different problems and challenges and every family is different and every person is unique...
Do not let the external circumstances distract you and DO NOT believe those who say it can not be done...
If you let yourself be talked into believing X or Y, that is your responsibility and you will deal with the outcome
Everything is an internal game, that is where you need to be playing and nowhere else.