Just keep going -
Just keep going -  aardvark stories
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rosarlei
rosarlei commafultips.com 👊
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The miracle of Work and Sacrifice
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eat those ants and don't stop

Just keep going -

We run away from the things that contain ALL of the fun and meaning

Failures, Sins, Weakness​ Work, Discipline and S A C R I F I C E

If this was a Zelda game, those would the weapons you get after defeating a castle

We complain about having to work, but work is an absolute miracle

Work is the process or ritual, through which you can interact with reality and get treasures from it

Work is the SAME thing as the Hero of the story because it is what keeps Evil "manageable"

The point is never to vanquish evil, which is why Ganondorf is never killed.

You need the Evil contained inside of yourself as the thing which contrasts the potential of life

You are the thing that is standing between the capacity for evil and the impulse of developing​ your potential

The beauty of life comes from realizing what is REALLY happening when you work and sacrifice CORRECTLY

I use the bible because it is part of my culture, but the story of Cain and Able is about that exactly.

We HAVE to work because we discovered Good and Evil

OR you could also argue that we discovered G&E so that we COULD work

Because work is exactly the same as when the hero of the video game is moving through the world fighting mob after mob

When you go to work you faced with hundreds of opportunities in which you choose right or wrong.

Games simplify that by turning the entire thing into: "Kill the bad guy"

But in real life, every time you perform a task or have an interaction, you decide how meaningful it is

And I feel I can say that because I have a job that no one is precisely fighting me over and from which I derive immense​ meaning

And it is certainly NOT the case that I could not be doing something more profitable in terms of $$$

Now let me show you an example is which you can use WORK to redeem yourself in a quasi-religious​ manner

Growing up I went to a German school. I was good at history, Spanish, art.

I had my moments with physics and chemistry and was very good at something called Technical Design (geometry related)

But I was barely passing German and Mathematics

I understood abstractions, but I was unwilling or not able complete an exercise without making mistakes and butchering the thing​

I entered the university at age 17 and spend the next three years horrible failing Math and Calculus and all else.

One morning I woke up, happy, and then cried a tear when I realized I had a class of Chemistry in two hours

I was not happy

Then something happened. A failed relationship help me grow up a good deal and I decided to join a new B.A

The university had opened a B.A in Liberal Arts which combined History, Politics, Economics & Philosophy

At the age of 21 I had only ever read Harry Potter and hundreds of comic books, and here I was about to go into the Liberal Arts...

Long story short: I graduated with 18/20 and received the highest honors on my thesis and final examinations.

I never knew I could be any good at University, but it was also the first time I had started to follow my intuition

Fast forward 3 years and I am living in Berlin on my own

I have sent about 250+ job applications and received one response saying: "No thank you"

Let me tell you something, I bought and study books on how to send applications in Germany.

I studied the company, made the phone calls, took the professional photo that they love here AND I even learned InDesign (Adobe)

I could not get anything, anywhere at any level except for work as a waiter (2010-2013)

I could write books about bad I was failing. I even went ahead and developing​ a crippling anxiety which made me stutter in public

I got fired from a job I liked, for reasons I did not agree with and that hurt my ego in which I did not think possible. I loved that job.

I had been unemployed for a few months and I would not recommend ever collecting those checks...

One day I decided I would try to enter the university and escape the real world for a bit because it was wrecking me.

Here is where things get better and I'll keep things as concise as I can

I already knew I was the kind of person that could be top of the class and I had no intention of wasting this opportunity

I was in a bad placed, depressed and taking high doses (over the counter) tablets to help me handle it

I was applying for a M.A in Economics, but also for B.A in case I didn't get it

My goal was to ONLY get straight A's and that meant I was going to have to understand mathematics

And raise my level of German from the basic to the highest possible in a period of 6 months

I started to learn for 4 hours every day.

The four hours turned to 6 and the 6 turned to 8

I was not on FB or playing games or eating. When I say 8 hours I mean without counting breaks of any kind

Understand that I really thought my life was over and that this was my only chance at saving what I had left.

I was dead serious and traumatized and scared and still in a bad relationship

When the university started I had already been learning every single day for 8 hours

They had us take a Math test at the beginning of the 1st semester and I got 20 out of 100

That hurt like you can not i m a g i n e

Things had gotten personal

The freshman lectures were useless to me because I could not follow the lessons in German at that speed

I locked myself in the library and made a study plan for myself from day one

After the first month I was spending 12 to 14 hours a day in the library learning. Not counting breaks.

Because not only did I have to learn statistics, economics calculus, law, management... I had to do it in English and then prepare for German

I also really wanted to get material PERFECTLY and not just get a good grade.

Long story short: I breezed through the calculus test and get a near perfect score.

Near perfect because I fucked two exercises on very first page which I did not revise. (Idiot)

To do all that I had also taken the time to study methods on how to learn as well hundreds of hours of life coaching materials

The night I got my grade I saw an add on the internet where they were looking for math tutors in Berlin

I flashed my grade from "elite" FU university and got the job immediately​

What happened​ after that was that I spent the next two years working as an educator and consultant

I was SERIOUSLY good at being a mathematics tutor to children and this is why:

I had found a way to LOVE mathematics, I also LOVED to learn and I was well versed in all basic levels of Mathematics.

But what allowed me to make magic was the fact that I had the empathy to understand WHY those kids did not get it.

People who teach math are usually those who were always good at it and they don't understand why others can not do it well.

In 20-45 minutes I was able to walk a student backward​ through the entire curriculum and find the concept that was missing

Most people have gaps in the knowledge from the first-class​ and unless you cover those, they will NEVER get the other things

I had students go from 3/5 to 1/5 which is the highest grade in only one lesson with me.

An organization I worked for was so impressed they offered the resources to open up a learning center.

I went from being the worst at German and Mathematics to being the best teacher of Mathematics in German.

And the thing that became obvious to me was this:

A. THAT is the point of life B. Work done correctly creates the miracle C. Sacrifice must be done willingly

This is the game we are playing. We need TRAUMA before we start to take life seriously

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