Being 19-21 is akin to having chickenpox for about two years....
But you have NO IDEA that you have it and we know we can't make you see it...
so we just shut up and try not to hate you while you cause all of us to itch like mad.
And how could you know?
You have been drinking fucking and jerking your way through life for the about 7-4 years.
Now you decide you want to try new things, and begin to pay some attention to the world around you.
You can only squint, because your eyes have been closed-shut for 18 years; and now you are thinking:
"yo, I think grown-ups are fucking this shit up. It's time we step up & take care of business."
You think you are ready to do this:
But if you were a straight-A student, you are more like this:
So you leave your room trying not to trip over the dirty dishes /laundry which lay all over and,
head to the kitchen to give your mom & dad a look of disapproval...
but then you realize:
"I am living at their place and eating their food for free...I should just be passive aggressive, instead of rude."
Now, that is smart.
You then go on IG and begin to scroll down, trying to figure out what is wrong with the world, so you can go and fix it.
And the thought itself is NOT a bad one, but you do need to fine-tune it a little bit.
and listen: EVERYONE is a complete idiot at 19 (maybe not you) but most of us certainly were
And still ARE. But we have time on our side, which means that life already fucked us into submission years ago.
I don't want to rass you, I simply want to let you know what the 35+ in the world are thinking about you.
That way you can stop thinking that it has ANYTHING to do with your gender, race or dietary choices.
The problem is NOT that you have no skills or useful talents.
Most people would be THRILLED to teach you everything they know,
if only you did not think that you already know it.
How could you possibly help someone who is in this predicament?
I do not know, but I work in gastronomy, and I absolutely love it.
That means I am always surrounded by students going into their first job
That is where girls are by far the LEAST worse.
Because they naturally pay more attention, and are more willing to follow directions.
It's important to know the following:
For the first couple of years, you won't be able carry your own weight, "not even" as a waiter.
The people with exp. are not bothered by the fact that they are literally carrying you.
We don't really mind doing that because other people did the same thing for us before (and still do)
What makes us want to murder you, is when you act as if you were too good for the job.
If you are getting looks of contempt at work, it is not because you are a foreigner, or black or brown or vegan.
But because it takes an ABSURD amount of energy to keep the "forward momentum"
It's like this:
Out of 20 people, about 1 or 2 are doing 50% of the work.
five (5) people do the other 48% while the rest of the 14 are on social media trying not to think about:
Food, Sex or Drugs
Again, if you are getting hostility at your work place, it's probably cuz you still don't understand how hard it actually is.
That is not your fault... but it is your problem, and your responsibility to solve it.
a real-life example:
I was teaching math and calculus a few years ago to children and teenagers.
I can honestly say that I was good at that job.
But I have been doing general gastronomy for over 8 years and I'd say I am OK at it
My biggest asset is that I am willing to follow whoever is leading, and I work non stop.
Now try to imagine how fun it is for me to have to ask you not to drag your feet or use the tray as a frisbee.
You need to understand that eating shit IS the job you are getting paid for, and we don't give a fuck about you.
We seriously do not care if you just arrived in a dingy last week, and got almost eaten by a shark...
Hell, if that had been your actual case, I have a feeling you'd be trying a little bit harder.
Yes, there are plenty of assholes out there who love to take it out on the new guy, but that is NOT the issue.
because there is always one new guy is paying attention like CRAZY, and trying to figure out what is going on...
and OMG...we LOVE that person SO MUCH that thinking about it is making me shake a bit.
Not everyone is like that, I get it.
You could still be the person who goes acts as if they want to help.
for 99.9% of the cases, if you bring a modicum of a helpful attitude, and a decent amount of humility, you'll do great
And let me assure you that this story is for your own good
Here is why that is so, and why u should listen:
Unless you work as hard, and with as much honest as you possibly can
You will not be able to figure out who is your ALLY and who is your enemy...
Someone you work for (or with) will make a snarky remark at you, and unless you are have a 100% clear conscious.
You will either wonder why they are acting that way, or you'll conclude things that make you a resentful victim.
Why do I say: "Clean your room"
Because cleaning is an act of courage and truth which will allow you to start looking at things as they really are.