Admittedly Carl Jung said that the thing we are looking for is where we least want to look.
That how Tofu make me feel. Btw, I have enjoyed eating Tofu and even bought it a few times,
But there is something sneaky and treacherous and even repulsive about that thing.
Although repulsive might indicate that I am overly reacting to it, or that I have an unconscious connection
Now that I think about it, Tofu reminds me of some unsavory characters from my past.
I remember how safe I felt around them. Probably due to how confident they felt about their Goodness
It turns out I had confused Goodness with naivety and willful blindness.
That is part of caused the trauma I still carry. Being THAT wrong about someone is not good.
As I write I realized I had walked into their world. An echo chamber meant to disguise stupidity.
It looked incredible from the outside. For the first time I felt I had a family in this distant land.
But almost immediately I felt and then saw what horrors lied skin deep and in their souls.
I could only think about keeping them safe and helping them grow. It's where my attention had gone
So many "I love you"s and bits of intimacy unbeknown. It all seemed to wash away like footsteps on a shore
It's not others fault that I can't trust, but my unwillingness to let go of hostility masquerading