The end...
The end...  first story stories

rihanbook Just a dreamer... 😁
Autoplay OFF   •   a year ago
My first short story...

I'm not a native speaker of English, please correct my grammatical errors and please give me feedback of my short story...

The end...


Three gunshot sounds are heard from the distance.

Looking at my hand-gun at hands, it's loaded and ready, but the problem is, I think there's only 5 bullets left in the chamber.

"Is it enough?" I think to myself.

But then again, seeing those soldiers who have fallen, they almost emptied their rifle just to kill "one" of those creatures.


Suddenly I heard that sound, a loud sound, loud enough that I know it is near.

Thinking about my current circumstance, I didn't realize that those creatures are already moving towards my location.

But I realized it too late...


I hear those creatures are already scratching the door of the room I'm in.

Hiding in this tiny office room is a mistake. There's nothing in this office room, besides a desk, a couple of chairs, and a couple of cabinet files.

I thought they won't be able to find me here, but I was wrong.

Is it because of their ability to hear? Or is it because of their ability to smell? I don't know for certain, what I'm certain is, they have found me, and they're trying to kill me.


They finally break the door open, seeing those creatures up close, I feel like my body is freezing.

Crawling on their "four legs", those short, and very sharp teeth are the first things I notice from them.

Their teeth are so messy, protruding in a random manner, some protruding inward, some protruding outward, and thick saliva, constantly running out of their mouth.

Their figure, it's like that of a human's, but there's no eyes, no nostrils, and no apparent earlobes.

Their pink skin is like that of a mole rat's, but with distinct difference, it's covered in some kind of thick putrid mucus. It's even smellier up close.

While I'm having all of these thoughts, one of those creatures starts crawling closer towards me.

I can't help but to notice their "four legs", it's like an ape's "legs", but with crazy-long claws. One swing of that claws would be a lethal wound for a human.

The distance between me and the creature is just a mere metre.

Seeing my hand-gun at hands and the creature with those sharp tooth and long claws which is just a mere metre from me, and is crawling slowly towards me, I think the choice is apparent...

As a new special agent, I'm trained to do every mission till my last breath. And that's what I'm going to do now...


I emptied my magazine and shot right at the creature's head. But as if I never shot a single bullet, the creature is leaping onto me.

Such strength... It's pinning me to the floor with such strength, I can hear some of my bones where the creature is pinning me, are broken.

"Huh, weird, I don't feel anything. No pain, nothing. Adrenaline?" I think to myself.

While I'm getting pinned down on the floor, I catch a glimpse of the other creatures, weird as it looks, but it seems that they're just "watching", as if waiting for what will happen to me soon.

Weirdly, I don't mind the stinky breath of the creature on top of me, nor I mind the thick saliva falling to my face.

I can see that the creature is opening its mouth. Its throat, its teeth, I can see it all.

And finally... It happens... It bites into my skull, and everything is going black...

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