I really don't know what to say, where to go, how to be right now.
The World stopped making sense that day, and the events afterward give me a great measure of hope.
But one cannot live in the past, nor can one depend on the future.
We live, we breathe, we act in the present, and we hope (and sometimes pray) that the events we live in the "now" will dictate how our future goes. But what surety is there?
What is it that we hope?
We all spend our lives, trading hours for the things that we desire, never knowing how long it will last, nor how long we will be happy with it.
It is often like a cat, playing with an object just out of its reach. As long as it is unattainable, it is desired, but the instant it captures it, the desire is attained, and boredom sets in.
Perhaps wanting is greater than obtaining. But then, what of giving?
I'm just rambling I know, but writing anything, even if it is rambling, disjointed and broken, is better than staring at a blank page sometimes.
And how my mind wonders as I do it! The moving finger, having written, moves on. Now, on this tablet, it has meaning.
And still I ramble, disjointed and broken...probably for some time to come.
My hopes? They are in her, becoming US, becoming one. Still a way off. Still future. But being here, at this age, in this juncture...Waiting seems unfair. But I must. I know.
Because I know that while there are others that have a desire for me....
My only desire is for her.
She is my Love.