Hey, let's take advantage of the high of the night and be reckless, we'll let our thoughts run free and loud, we'll let them scream in the form of words, some of our deepest desires and fears.
We'll unveil into the dark skies the darkness that resides in our hearts, the darkness that works as a cover for the scars that life gave us.
Let them scars heavy upon our flaws, so we can turn them into perfections, or just something a bit more flawless.
Let us not talk about sad only, but also about joy, for where there's darkness, there's also light,
for where there's desires, there's also fear.
We desire to live under the light and we fear to never be able to completely leave the darkness,
because we do leave the darkness from time to time, and those are the moments when we feel awesome, we feel joy, we feel possible, sometimes we even feel amazing, but then,
somehow we end back in the darkness, and we start to call it "our old friend".
And soon enough it becomes a cycle, a cycle that goes on, and on, and on.
It makes us feel down and sometimes a bit depressed, there are times when we just can't get back up and walk out right away, times when we just stay around "our old friend".
Times when we just hug the "depression" and keep on keep on the bad (bed).
those are the times we know we really "messed up".
And sometimes, some of us just can't get out,
we feel out of strength to try and stand-up one more time, we just embrace the darkness, as we go deeper and deeper into our sorrow, and sometimes it consumes us,
until it has taken every single ray of light as time went by.
And when we go so deep, that's when sometimes the some of us just cannot hold on and commit suicide. It might be emotionally, spiritually, or even literally. I pray it never happens to us.
There are also some of us who stay somewhere in between, not dead, but also not alive. Just empty.
Let us keep fighting, because when we give-up, that's when A or B happens.
Let us fight for C or even D, and who really cares, we can fight for Z if we want to, THE ONLY THING STOPPING US, IS OURSELVES.
Let us not be stopped by our own self.
Let us step into the light and stay in the light. We shall and ought to be whom we really want to be.
(A programmer, a doctor, an athlete, an engineer and so on, whom ever and whatever).
Let us be it.
Well, am saying "us" but in reality I mean, let you be it. Let yourself be who you want to be.
Because you are your own fieriest, biggest, strongest and worst enemy.
And not the boy or girl, or ex, or fake friend. It's not that person you may think that has something against you, the person you think that dislikes you, it's not her or him, it's you!
And it's not your boyfriend or girlfriend who has to love you the most, it's you!
But to beat/defeat the enemy and love thyself, we must do our best, day in and day in, with no day out, we must be all the way in, or else we had better not even try,
because if you are only halfway in, you are already losing by 50%.
but, of course we must not punish ourselves. For that would never work.
What I think we can do is, for 5 min everyday just decide to do the right thing and keep on going, take this one decision and stand by it,
teach ourselves to be defined by our decisions and not by the moments.
We take this decision now, today, and tomorrow and everyday with no day off, with no weekends and with no excuses, we take this right decision at least once a day.
And on these days for other five minutes we must say no to the wrong thing, fore this one thing can make the right decision we made completely obsolete.
And take my word when I tell you that "one moment, one decision, five minutes can ruin what were hours/ days/ weeks/ months/ years of taking the right decision.
It may not be ruined right after we made the bad decision, it also may not destroy what we built over those years, but eventually,
those five minutes can lead to the worst darkness you have ever experienced"
P.S.: do never try to be perfect, do make wrong decisions and have fun and learn with the mistakes you'll make during the process.
NOTE that I know which decisions am talking about, and if you made it this far you also know which decisions you are about.
Also from this day forward I'll be counting the days I've started working on being and remaining on light.
We'll see for how long I'll be able stay strong and how far I'll have reached after certain periods of time.
Do me a favor and have a good life, hugs and love.
Ricardo A. Muiambo Jnr.