Yes or No ? Right or Wrong ? Left or Right ? Up or Down ? Life or Death ?
There are many opposite categories in life. Many to choose from: “Yes or No?” “Should I go left or right ?”
Every day we ask ourselves these same questions, simple as getting out of bed in the morning, taking the stairs versus the elevator. These oppositions are a natural part of life, everyone goes through them.
I have no idea where I’m going with this or maybe I do. These could be shallow lines I’m writing or they can have depth.
Sometimes we just don’t know and that’s okay as we accept our lack of knowledge. However, other times we chose not to acknowledge these limitations and make them complicated.
“It’s complicated,” I’m sure every single one of us heard this phrase before, some of us even use it. But is it really complicated? Or are we just making an excuse?
Before I continue, I would like to state that these are my thoughts, my opinions. I don’t mean any offense to anyone, so don’t bash my words because you feel offended. I’m just speaking my mind and if it struck a nerve, then my job is complete.
So what does the word complicated mean? To complicate means to make something difficult, complex , difficulty in explaining and understanding. If this is the meaning of the word, why do we chose to say things are complicated or complicate them?
Saying things are complicated is a natural mechanism we use. But the question is are these things we call complicated, are they really complicated ?
Or are using “It’s complicated,” as an excuse to avoid making hard decisions. Now remember, these are my opinions, so if offense is taken, how to put this gently, I’m not sorry for my honesty. Honesty is one virtue that’s lacking these days but that’s another story.
You may say no I have reasons why it’s complicated. Are they really reasons or excuses? If you have reasons then shouldn’t you have made a decision? Life is hard but it’s not complicated.
Hard? What does that word even mean? This word means difficult or troublesome, difficult to deal with. So I know that you’re asking what’s the difference, they mean the same thing.
But, truthfully they don’t. On the surface yes they both use the same words such as difficult, but that’s where the similarities stop. The are not the same, they have different meanings. Hard means that something is difficult or troublesome. This means that the actual situation is hard, is difficult.
Complicated is making it difficult, complex, adding more unto the situation. Hard and complicated are two different words, different connotations. In life there are naturally hard decisions. These decisions that are normally hard become complicated because we make them so.
We are faced every day with hard decisions. We either know what to do or we don’t. More than usual we don’t. The most expected decision or move is to gain knowledge on that particular situation, study it thoroughly and decide... But we don’t do that.
Let me highlight, I said “we”, I also choose to complicate things when I shouldn’t. It’s a defense mechanism when we don’t want to make a decision or when people ask us about the situation, we respond saying that it’s complicated.
But in actuality, it’s not. All we’re doing is avoiding the unknown. We don’t want to take the risk, so we make excuses to not choosing right now or thinking about it. We complicate things because we’re scared. Scared of losing it all, scared of rejection.
And that’s completely natural, sometimes it’s okay to be scared. No, it doesn’t make you weak. It shows that you are aware of the risks that come with making a decision. But a lot of the time we allow the fear to grow.
We allow it to grow, to fester, to make us think on the things that we’ll lose. Make us believe that where we at this good and change is not needed right now. But change is inevitable, it will happen whether we like it or not.
This increase in fear leads to complicating these already hard decisions. Now, I’m not saying that you should face your hard decisions head on. I believe that all decisions should be studied and thought over before deciding.
It’s when we leave it alone for to long, when we avoid making a decision. When we say that we will wait it out or let someone else decide. These may be rational but it reflects badly on us as an individual. And sometimes, the decision that is chosen for us, we don’t like them or they don’t suit us.
What I’m trying to say is, DON’T complicate things. If you’re scared, admit it to yourself first and foremost and find someone you trust to confide with. Don’t hide or avoid making hard decisions. Face them, don’t run from them. Face them with diligence.
At the end of the day, it’s your decision, your life. Don’t you want to live it to the fullest? If yes? Why complicate things?