Sixty-four squares, eight by eight My world is so small that I'll suffocate
You'd think that it's just us versus them But I'm not one of 'us', my identity they'd condemn
Out of fear, I lay low, waiting for a chance To finally find another world where I'll be free to dance
'Til then, I must survive, in this sickening game And know that there's no reason to feel any shame
There's nothing wrong with who I am and love Please end this hate and disapproval I'm so tired of
there's a vent or whatever ahead, you can stop reading now if you want-
I'm bisexual, and I haven't come out to my family yet. I doubt I ever will. Even without me mentioning anything LGBTQ+ related, they talk about how being gay is a sin and it's wrong. I strongly disagree in my head but not out loud.
And it makes me feel terrible, having to listen to all that while living with them. Just like them, I'm Christian, too, but my views differ from theirs. I wish I could come out to them and be supported... but they'd probably respond in a way that'd make my mental health even worse that it already is.
So yeah, this poem reflects how I feel. I'm gonna lay low and hang on just for a few years longer until I can leave and be on my own, either with an explanation or not. I'm not sure which yet. I'm too exhausted to try to fight to keep them in my life.
And like I mentioned in the poem, my plans for the future make me feel sort of guilty and ashamed. But I should be as happy I can, right? Of course I can't be totally happy, but I can eliminate one huge cause of my negative thoughts, can't I?
Love is love. People can love whoever they love. And I love my family, and I know they love me, too, but I can't live like this forever.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ well, letting all that out helped me feel a bit better. If anyone can relate to this, I'm so sorry. And don't worry about me. All of this was just me venting about what's been piling up for a while now and explaining the meaning behind my poem. I'll be fine :)