traces of exile.

some of the lines are lyrics from https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=osdoLjUNFnA, which is so so so so beautiful. credit goes to Taylor Swift

we dared to fall in love and pick ourselves up again

we dared to fall in love and pick ourselves up again make me think im stupid and useless

we dared to get drunk

we dared to get drunk make me think im stupid and useless

you dared to get drunk

you dared to get drunk make me think im stupid and useless

you dared to hurt me

you dared to hurt me make me think im stupid and useless

and you dared to hit me, too

and you dared to hit me, too make me think im stupid and useless

i think thats when i realised this wouldnt work

i think thats when i realised this wouldnt work i cried,

i think thats when i realised this wouldnt work i cried, that night

i think thats when i realised this wouldnt work i cried, a lot

i think thats when i realised this wouldnt work i cried, a lot because i still had fantasies of us working out

because i still had fantasies of us working out

i have him now.

i have him now. honey, dont look away

i have him now. honey, dont look away i see you staring

i have him now. honey, dont look away i see you staring like he's just your understudy

i have him now. honey, dont look away i see you staring like he's just your understudy does it break your heart?

i have him now. honey, dont look away i see you staring like he's just your understudy does it break your heart? good.

i have him now. honey, dont look away i see you staring like he's just your understudy does it break your heart? good. im crying now

im crying now

dont you see how he holds me? im crying now

dont you see how he holds me? im crying now

dont you see how he holds me?

dont you see how he holds me? its hard

repeating to myself dont you see how he holds me? its hard

repeating to myself dont you see how he holds me? its hard my dreary chant

im happier now, repeating to myself dont you see how he holds me? its hard my dreary chant

im happier now, im happier now repeating to myself dont you see how he holds me? its hard my dreary chant

im happier now, im happier now repeating to myself im yelling its hard my dreary chant

but im happier now, im happier now repeating to myself im yelling its hard my dreary chant

but i im happier now, im happier now repeating to myself im yelling its hard my dreary chant

but i dont im happier now, im happier now repeating to myself im yelling its hard my dreary chant

but i dont hear it im happier now, im happier now repeating to myself im yelling its hard my dreary chant

but i dont hear it im happier now, im happier now repeating to myself im yelling its hard my dreary chant

but i dont hear it im happier now, im happier now

but i dont hear it im happier now, im happier now my neighbours'll be up in arms about it come morning

but i dont hear it im happier now, im happier now

im happier now, im happier now i dont care anyway

im happier now, im happier now i dont care anyway i feel numb

the melodies connect

twist, build the melodies connect

grow and fatten twist, build the melodies connect

yelling grow and fatten twist, build the melodies connect

tugging at my hair yelling

tugging at my hair yelling laughing but the joke's not funny at all

you were my everything

you were my everything and now im in exile

you were my everything and now im in exile seeing you out

you were my everything and now im in exile seeing you out numb, cold, disconnected

you were my everything and now im in exile seeing you out numb, cold, disconnected this heartbreak is real

you were my everything and now im in exile seeing you out numb, cold, disconnected this heartbreak is real those eyes add insult to injury

you were my everything and now im in exile seeing you out numb, cold, disconnected this heartbreak is real those eyes add insult to injury he'll never understand.

those eyes add insult to injury he'll never understand. i think hes fallen in love with me

and he doesnt know hes just here to soothe the pain

when he talks about you

when he talks about you i dont know why i defend you

when he talks about you i dont know why i defend you anymore

i think ive seen this film before

i think i dont like how it ends. ive seen this film before

i dont even know if i love you anymore i think i dont like how it ends. ive seen this film before

i dont even know if i love you anymore i cant tell

i dont even know if i love you anymore i cant tell im not suicidal

i dont even know if i love you anymore i cant tell im not suicidal because i dont want to die

i dont even know if i love you anymore i cant tell im not suicidal because i dont want to die i think

i dont even know if i love you anymore i cant tell im not suicidal because i dont want to die i think i just want to disappear

i dont even know if i love you anymore somewhere with you i cant tell im not suicidal because i dont want to die i think i just want to disappear

i dont even know if i love you anymore somewhere with you i cant tell with you im not suicidal because i dont want to die i think i just want to disappear

i dont even know if i love you anymore somewhere with you i cant tell with you im not suicidal with you because i dont want to die i think i just want to disappear

i dont even know if i love you anymore somewhere with you i cant tell with you im not suicidal with you because i dont want to die you i think i just want to disappear

now i know, i still love you

I feel like I've been writing a lot of poetry about me lately. Refreshing change. Love, B <3