they play on a cassette tape, broken & scratched, on repeat.
they unravel my mind, layers of memories and things that i forgot to mention. in the end, guilty whispers never change anything, but here's a list of all my regrets.
one, you were always my best friend.
(haven't you heard? friends can break your heart too.)
two, i always blame myself for everything that went wrong.
though, i'm afraid to admit, that i still don't understand everything that we did to upset god.
what's the harm in a few scars? what's wrong with lying to the brightest star?
you were so angry, and that brings us to number three.
i am afraid of the color of steel gray.
it's too harsh, and it bleeds everything we said, in that
harsh and brash way of speaking,
the crash of everything we were and i still miss sticking to your skin because now you crawl underneath mine and i burn.
it's like the way that cassette tapes spark when twisted on repeat, in the pattern of a beating heart.
it hurts so much, but i am still here. fire is nothing to a memory.
still, there are so many regrets, and they consume me.
and in the end, they are all you.
so again, here's everything i forgot to tell you:
i love you.
i miss you.
you broke me.
but i will never apologize for surviving.