Fuck. I really want to touch him right now. God damnit. This crush is kicking my ass.
Why can’t this guy just get over himself already and fuck me? I want him to grab me by my sides, shove me against the wall, push his body into mine, bite my lips and grab my hair.
I want him so badly I can literally feel pressure on my skin where I imagine his touch.
Why did I stop the FWB? I should’ve just let him use me. We both benefited from it. Well, him more than me. I have to remind myself how it started to hurt.
Pain can be so fleeting, and pleasure so memorable. I was falling. Intellectually, it was going to end badly for me. My disconnected, logical brain knows that. My detached, unemotional, analytical side knows it was the right decision.
My carnal side doesn’t care. I’m burning up. Shit.
He’s too much like my ex. They’re nothing alike, and everything alike. He’s an asshole. He’s a nerd. He’s an introvert--god, I fucking love introverts. He’s short, that’s different.
He’s smarter--like, leagues above. How did I ever marry such an idiot? I guess everyone’s an idiot at 23, I just grew out of it. This new guy...I should be so careful. I made the right choice. We can just be friends.
We can just be friends.
I can keep my hands to myself.
Maybe I’ll get him to drink with me again. He gets horny when he drinks. If he makes the first move…
God damnit! Stop thinking like that! God, I’m so turned on by just the thought of him. He has the cutest laugh. No, it’s a giggle.
How hilarious is that? This serious guy, plays it cool in public--totally silly in private.
He loves his dog. No, he is OBSESSED with his dog. She’s just the littlest dog, too. It’s weird, I think he uses her to deflect me sometimes. Sometimes, he uses her to get closer.
He’s not good for me. He acts like he doesn’t give a shit about me, and then he wants to hang out.
I need to be careful. This is a toxic relationship waiting to happen, and I’m still recovering from the last one.
But damn it if I don’t want a little toxic right now.