It was a weekend at a rented out suite. There was a crowd laughing so loud from inside, it pierced the sky like a small crackle of thunder. (Hm, they must have already started. Sounds like they're having a lot of fun too, apparently.), I think to myself as I walk up to the open gate, while another wave of uproarious laughter pierces my ears and makes me clutch them in slight pain.
I hold up the paper that Cringe-kun had given me a few days ago in the nurse's office that had the suite number on it just to make sure I was at the right place, even though I knew I was. I walk up to the door, and press on the doorbell.
A buzz was heard, then a person whose voice I was unfamiliar with answered the intercom under the doorbell. It was a mature sounding womanly voice. "Yes? Officer? Were we too loud?".
The crowd starts to laugh again. "Jk. We were expecting you. Well, Cringe-bozu was, but who's counting?", she continues over the intercom.
The crowd laughs as a defeated "Heeeey!" in a voice that I was definitely familiar with accompanied the laughter. "Well, he's getting angry, so I might as well let you in.".
A deadbolt unlocking could be heard on the other side, then the lock on the doorknob.
As it opens, I see looking up at me a brown long haired woman with a sultry pair of brown eyes and a mole on her right cheek wearing a bunny suit.
I tried to make a good first impression by saying "Is this the Haruhi Suzumiya cosplay party?". The crowd laughs, but the woman was looking me up and down. "I tell the jokes here, pal, but...
not bad. If this were a job interview, I would hire you. The name's Isayama Riko, and welcome to the party! Come on in.".
She grabs me and pulls me into the room, locking the door behind us in the process. I hold my arm that she grabbed and walk up to Cringe-kun and Prez-kun.
"A bit of a lockjaw, isn't he?", Cringe-kun says. (Ah, so that was the "some jackass" he was talking about, then.).
"Why did you bring me here again?", Prez-kun asks, taking a drink from his punch cup. "To pull the stick out of your~"*BONK!*, the President hits him in the back of his head.
"Ok,ok.", Cringe-kun says. "Just live a little. Even if I don't like the guy, I won't turn down free cake, and neither would you, you know?", he finishes.
Prez-kun looks at his own stomach in shock, shaking. (I guess even the Prez cares about his weight), I muse to myself.
"Alright, alright. The event you have been waiting for...at least most of us have.", the host says with a deadpan snark, pointing at Cringe-kun and ruling him out as the exception.
The crowd points and laughs too, which then in turn makes Cringe-kun sulk with a disgruntled look on his face.(Fucking...hate...this guy.),he thinks to himself.
I look over and notice that Prez-kun was at the table with the cake laid out, cutting three slices out of it. I pay no further heed, then watch as Haruh-ummm...Deadpan-kun take out a live rabbit from his hat, and turn it into a miraculous burst of confetti.
The crowd gasps upon this realization, then gives a sigh of relief as the rabbit pops out from behind the podium stand where Deadpan had set everything up, completely unharmed.
The crowd cheers and claps.
"Thank you, thank you. You having fun yet, mia paisan?", he points to Cringe-kun over at the bar, still sulking. Cringe-kun starts to shout "We are not fr~".
I hold my arm out in front of him, then softly shake my head. I know he's upset, and why, but it's best for us not to cause a scene. "Don't worry, Cringe-bozu", Deadpan-kun starts.
I could feel the anger vein aura popping out of Cringe-kun's head. "Someday you'll be able to tell jokes as good as me...someday.", he finishes. The crowd laughs.
Cringe-kun brushes my arm off, and says "Screw this! I'll just go eat some cake to calm down.". He walks over to the table where Prez-kun had already finished two of the pieces.
He was about to finish off the third when Cringe-kun says "What was that, your eighth slice since we got here, or something?".
Prez-kun drops his fork, and mutters "I-I was supposed to be on a diet...". Cringe-kun says "Could you speak up?".
Prez-kun looks up at him with tears streaming down out of his glasses, a look that shocks Cringe-kun.
As the day turns into night, the party dies down. Everyone starts leaving. We pull Prez-kun out of his chair and carry him out, still stunned from the realization that he went overboard.
As we hoisted him out, a mantra chant kept repeating itself on a loop "Imafailureimafailureimafailure...", he goes.
"No, you're not. Don't ever say that.", Cringe-kun says, "You just had a moment of weakness, is all." The Prez slowly turns his head towards Cringe-kun with a face that looked like he had seen Momotaro's ghost.
"W-wait! No weakness, no weakness!", Cringe-kun corrects himself. As we carry our hungover-on-cake President out, Deadpan-kun calls out to us. "Thank you for coming. See you next time, amigo?".
"Bite me.", Cringe-kun answers, giving the middle finger with his free hand. "Ok, see you next time.", Deadpan-kun replies with a sweet womanly voice, and waves.
As we look at the night sky, we think about the party. Me on how loud it was, Cringe-kun on how embarrassing it was, and Prez-kun on how *BLEEECH*...it was.
"It's a good thing that didn't get on my feet. Onee-chan would kill me for walking in the house with that on my feet.", Cringe-kun says.
I...wasn't so lucky. I got a scolding from my parents about why my shoes smelled the next morning. Boy, was I out a few hundred yen in allowance for the next week!