Ever since Adina died, things have been a blur. She was everything to me. She gave me purpose. She gave my life meaning. She was a part of me and losing her, I lost a part of me.
After she passed, I wasn't sure how to go on. Her death was unexpected. It wasn't something I'd given much thought to. So as she faded away, I faded away too.
Dawn would rise and the waters would become warmer. Night would fall and the temperatures would drop with it. I liked the cold better. The waters showcased their other emotions.
Angry, harsh and violent punching against the rocks. I liked that they show how they really feel when I had become numb to the world.
I like that even though they seemed heartless, they were really just misunderstood. They were actually kind, kind enough to transport me to a different place.
A change of scenery was exactly what I needed. A change of location would do me good.
The waters here were shallow. A vast difference from where Adina and I used to live. We didn't leave our homerocks and I'd only recently discovered how much more lay beyond our coral reefs.
How much more there was to sea.
The waves didn't give up on trying to persuade me to leave. To give in to a different life. One away from the ocean. I couldn't however. Marine life was the only life I knew.
I wondered what Adina would think. Would she approve?
I didn't think so. Underwater was her home. I couldn't move on.
The waves and I would play a game. They would try to push me out. I would remain adamant where they left me and so they would be bound to bring me back.
I didn't appreciate their encouragement even though I knew they were only trying to help. I wasn't ready yet. They told me it would be best for me and I would love it up there.
It would be a fresh start. I wasn't too sure.
One night, in a tantrum fit, Blue kicked me out. I was waiting for a few more crashes before I would be dragged back in, except it didn't come.
"Blue!" I called, frustrated.
"No Shelly, this is your life now."
"Blue no!" I cried desperately. "You have no right. This isn't your choice to make!"
"Actually Shelly it is. It's my duty. I have a say in who lives in me and for how long. Now give it a few days and I guarantee you gonna love it so much, you won't wanna come back here."
He stopped replying to me after that no matter how many times I yelled. So I finally gave up.
I wildly take in mg surroundings. The stars shown down brightly giving me a glimmer of hope. But it wasn't enough to cure my self pity. I needed to get back into the cold waters.
I felt like I was drowning in this sand.
The sun rose lifting my spirits as well. I watched the beautiful array of colours in awe. I had a plan. A plan that would help me dip back into the ocean.
I would just have to wait until noon for the crabs to crawl out. I would ask for a lift. I hoped they'd be nice enough. I have never met one before but I had heard they can be a little crabby.
It sucked that while I was upset at Blue I still needed him.
Waiting was proving to be difficult and hearing Blue's waves in the near distance was making it even harder. I was so close yet so far away.
I hear voices. Strange voices, before I feel myself being lifted up off the soft sandy ground. It was a weird sensation. I was about to yell out for Blue when I saw who's hands were holding me.
I've heard fascinating stories about them. The fish despised them. The dolphins liked them. The sharks said they were tasty. The seals didn't seem to have any issues with them either.
The seagulls called them crazy but thought they had some amazing food but who knows cause seagulls eat everything. Humans.
Nobody told me how beautiful they were though.
"Wow aren't you a beautiful piece" She echoed my own thoughts, caressing my body.
Beautiful. The human thought I was something special. And in that moment I realized that while Adina would always be a part of me but I didn't need her to continue my journey.
I didn't need her to survive. I didn't need her to be something. To be something unique. Perhaps Blue knew what he was talking about. I was still mad at him though.. until he apologized.
I hadn't realized that we were walking towards Blue until I was dunked under the water.
"Shelly!" Blue enthusiastically greets me like he didn't do anything. I remain silent.
"You gonna apologize or what?"
"Nope. I am gonna miss you however."
"Wha-, what do you mean? what's going to happen to me..?? Blue??"
"I can't say Shell, it's different for everyone but--"
I didn't make out the rest of what he said as the human suddenly started to run away from the shore further up to the sandy area.
"Blue!!" I yelled panic settling in. Worst case scenarios playing in my head. OhmyGod what was going to happen to me.
The human didn't look mean. In fact she looked really nice. But there also was a reason fish didn't like them..
I was then suddenly lowered and gently placed on something really comfy, soft and colourful. The human then sat down beside me and took out a bottle from a portable soft compartment thingy.
She squeezed the bottle and a whitish liquid fell onto her hands. I watch on in complete fascination. She then rubbed the liquid into her arms. then her tummy and finally her legs.
The liquid disappearing with each rub. Seagulls were right. Humans are crazy.
I was lifted up again and my anxiety kicked right back. I was then placed into the compartment thingy where I was in for a surprise.
"Hey there lovey"
W hat?? Right there were a dozen more shells just like me.
"No need to look so terrified love. Don't worry you're ain't alone and we all now your family."
"What's going to happen to us?"
"Nothing bad if that's why you look like you bump your pretty self against a rock. Maybe we'll be sold in one of them stores or placed in a fish tank."
She was using foreign language. But I nodded as if I understood. The way they spoke calmed me. They didn't seem worried so I hoped there wouldn't be anything to worry about.
Maybe I could finally relax.
"Whatever happens though you will always be admired and taken care of. and that's all a shell can wish for when leaving sea. and you one of them lucky ones."
I didn't know if I was lucky or not yet. But I had finally come to terms with losing Adina. I was ready to take on the future with a positive outlook. I was no longer a shell of my former self.