Anxiety

I want to be a part of your world

but I am held hostage by something you cannot see.

It is twisting at my lower intestine

making my hands shake and my body immovable.

Sometimes, when it loosens its grip

I wander out into the world.

I am cautious in these moments.

At any point I could be held hostage again.

I hold your hand while my other is in a closed fist,

I kiss you in public with my eyes, open

I am watching for any sign of it’s return.