It's your birthday!
It's your birthday! comedy stories

perwickbay I have some things to share with you.
Autoplay OFF   •   3 years ago
I've been enjoying the weather and spending time with friends over the past couple of days. Besides, sometimes it's good to take a break from social media every once in a while.

Anyway, here's a really weird thing I wrote about a mad doctor talking to a newborn baby.

It's your birthday!

"Ah, hello there!"

"Now it’s probably best that you continue to just lie there for some time. We’ve got to keep an eye on you for a bit before we can let you go off into the world."

"Excuse my manners, I’m sure you must be wondering who I am and what you’re doing here."

"I am Doctor Bay. I’m here to make sure that you’re fit and firing."

"Now the “whats” and the “whys” are a little more existential and complex for the moment so we’ll keep things somewhat light and punchy."

"Today is, in fact, your birthday!"

"Of course, I recognise that perhaps that your grasp on the notion of birthdays is weak at best. You don’t know what a birth or a day is at this moment in time."

"But that said, this is certainly the most important birthday of your life. I mean, it's arguably the most important day of your life full stop!"

"It's a shame really, you’ll only come to appreciate this a fair while along the line."

"Regardless of all of that, I just wanted to tell you about some of the wonderful things you have to look forward to from here on out."

"The world is a scary place, I won’t lie to you."

"There are these tiny things called fire ants. Individually, not a problem. But there was a time a whole gang of them got mixed up in my washing while I was visiting Australia and… actually, maybe that’s a story for another time."

"So the world IS a scary place. But it is also beautiful, wondrous and frankly daft."

"There are billions of people, just like you, all over the world. We may all seem different. Some people are tall, others are short. Some people are black, others are white. Some people have ginger hair, most other people don’t. Some people can swim, others can sing. The truth is, no matter how different we seem to be, we’re all just trying to figure it out."

I’m not here to give you the answer. I’m here to ask the question.

I’m not here to give you the answer. I’m here to ask the question. What will you become?

I’m not here to give you the answer. I’m here to ask the question. What will you become? The answer to that question is in your hands.

Anyway, I best leave now.

Anyway, I best leave now. Happy birthday.

Anyway, I best leave now. Happy birthday. And good luck.

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