I come, I go, not forgotten but always fading.
The crowd, a treacherous thing. They toot their horns and love their words and give their love to strangers.
I am falling but they do not see. They ask, and I tell them, I communicate to placate. I falsify to the world my own two minds. A perfectly cracked humanity with nothing to worry about.
‘Ah they must be an introvert. Yes, that is it’ they say.
Yeah, but I’m also dying inside.
But who can I blame when I only hide? I am no spectacle to be witnessed, nor statue to crumble. I stand quiet but there is no silence within my heart. In the moment I am swallowed, I defend.
But in the darkness I see regret, I see their faces, unimpressed by my smile, uninterested in my tentative musings.
Why would they? Why would they when I hate it myself?
So they aren't. And they leave on their merry way.
I don’t belong. I never will. So instead I forget, I fall, I destroy my soul so it cannot feel. I lose my mind, my place, my purpose and It keeps me occupied.
But I do not belong.