It's 3am and I dreamed of you for the first time in a year
Is this what it feels like to lose your mind?
As the mind romanticizes a person that you never were but I always hoped for you to be.
Cruel and manipulative.
I cried when I thought I let you down and yet you threw it in my face every time.
Like it meant weakness to you.
It took everything I had to tell you to fuck off and leave me alone, and yet I miss what could have been.
It's been 3 years and I'm so lonely now, I wonder where you are.
Everytime I see an ambulance I wonder if you finally did commit suicide.
That's what scares me more than anything. How much I still care.
I've learned those feelings never go away, you just have to ignore them. Or you ignore your worth as a person.