as everything changes, I'm left unwantedly unpredictably unapoligetically alone and I'll always be wondering what I did wrong
Was I not good enough? Did I talk to loud, or was I too nice, or was I so desperate?
it's worse some days more than others
yesterday made me feel like the whole world wants me to jump off of a bridge but today I'm as fine as I can be
it's the emptiness that gets me the sullen certain sorrow that I feel when my thoughts are most vulnerable.
before i sleep, just as i wake up, in the middle of the night as darkness covers everything. covers me
They tell me to get over it,
that I'm lucky, that i'm not the only one.
but they also say i'm the only me
shouldn't that mean that i can get help too?
or am i left alone wrong as always
i'm so very sick of it
I cannot change the what has already been done.
yet oh how i want to for it is all have left
but all I know is I try to hold onto the past
knowing everything I touch breaks in my hands
so I'm left with only the scars on my limbs
as the sands of time slip through my fingers
and the final barren hope of a lost and pitied girl threatens to vanish forever
and I'm still waiting
waiting for something, someone to tell me that everything's gonna be alright, that I haven't worked in vain all these years.
waiting for the beauty within to shine, if there's any left
waiting for the opportunity to be happily peacefully willingly blissfully content with who I am
to be loved
and i'm still waiting.