there's something wrong

onlyadreamerGrace - She/her, INFP, dreaming
Autoplay OFF  •  4 months ago
Hi. um. help please.

there's something wrong

by onlyadreamer

how do they not see it

how do they not hear

how do they not feel it

how do they sit in silence as my wordless screams ring out

how to they stare blindly as the colors of my vision fade

how are they distant and cold as my emotions slowly drip drip drip away

"no, you're not _________!" i fear they'll say

"you just can't be!"

for i am their golden girl

the saving grace

the heir to a generation

what could possibly be wrong with me

but i know that if they knew what happens in my head

how my thoughts go fuzzy if there's a blanket of soft , sharp noises

or if they could listen to my inner monologue

the constant reminding myself that I'll never be good enough for the people I love

hell, if they saw what i write sometimes when i'm feeling at my worst

would they finally notice?

oh, if they only knew

that not so deep inside of me, just behind the walls that i've thrown up

there is something very wrong

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onlyadreamerGrace - She/her, INFP, dreaming
3 months agoReply
@bernardtwindwil Thank you! This site is a great way for me to put my opinions and feelings into the world, and it's nice to have advice about this sort of thing from someone who knows the struggle. Thanks again!

bernardtwindwilGranddad & story teller,
3 months agoReply
This is heartrending. My parents did not have any idea about what was going on with me. I did not understand my kids. They don't understand their kids. But Granddad does. I don't know what makes one generation blind to their offspring. It never stops. I assure you that you will live through this. You are going to spend a few years of misery. Remember your Grandparent's generation (that's me and Nonni) think that your parent's generation are morons. That should help a little. You are going through another separation. The first was your birth and the one now is you are growing toward independence of your body and mind away from your parents. I don't think I would want to go through adolescence again. I would rather go to war again. You are a great writer!!!!!