Fucked Up Jokes
Fucked Up Jokes nsfw stories
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WARNING. These are very offensive jokes. If you don't want to be offended. Don't read

Fucked Up Jokes

WARNING. These are very offensive jokes. These are not my views.

What do spinach and anal sex have in common?

If you were forced to have it as a kid, you'll hate it as an adult

My girlfriend and I were having sex the other day when she looked at me and said, "Make love to me like in the movies."

So I fucked her in the ass, pulled out, and came all over her face and hair.

I guess we don't watch the same movies.

I called that Rape Advice Line earlier today.

Unfortunately, it's only for victims.

A Jewish boy goes up to his mom and asks "Can I have twenty dollars to go to the movies?"

She replies "Fifteen dollars? Since when does it cost ten dollars to see a movie?"

Lady in labour, shouting the usual shit, "Get this out of me! Give me the drugs!" She turns to her boyfriend and says, "You did this to me, you fucker!"

He casually replies, "If you remember, I wanted to stick it up your arse, but you said, 'fuck off it'll be too painful.'"

Man walks into his bedroom with a sheep under his arm. His wife is lying in bed reading. Man says, "This is the pig I have sex with when you've got a headache."

Wife replies, "I think you'll find that is a sheep." Man replies, "I think you'll find I was talking to the sheep."

What's white on top and black on bottom?

Society

A girl in a bar said to me, "I wouldn't fuck you if you were the last person alive."

Leaning over and whispering, I replied, "But who would be around to stop me?" Wiped the smug look right off her face.

Statistically... 9 out of 10 people enjoy gang rape.

Rape isn't a laughing matter, unless it is with a clown.

What's better than winning a gold medal in the Special Olympics?

Not being retarded.

A black man takes a girl home from a nightclub. She says "Show me it's true what they say about black men".

So he stabs her & nicks her purse.

What's al Qaeda's favorite football team?

The New York Jets.

If you have sex with a prostitute without her permission, is it rape... or shoplifting?

I'm not racist, racism is a crime, and crime is for black people

I wanked over a blind girl yesterday.

She never saw me coming.

What's the first thing a battered woman does when she gets home from the hospital?

Dishes, if she knows what's good for her.

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