I hate this feeling
of wanting you
but also wanting what is best for me
and you are not what is best for me
but i can’t shake you.
I deserve better.
I deserve someone that will make me happy
and not someone who makes me depressed.
Then I start to think
that maybe the reason I cant let go of you
isnt because of my love for you
I am addicted to my own sadness
and am afraid that if I let go of these depressing feelings
I will be left with no feelings at all.
i’m not sure which is worse.
you aren’t good for me
yet I come back to you every time
because I am afraid that my pain
is all I have left.