I'm going through changes for the better even when the pain
feels like the worst. disappointment and sadness are almost one in the same; It feels like justification for the sorrow, a cloud for the rain.
Expectations were crafted yet undelivered, a gut wrenching
sensation it is to be promised a pipe dream. The stomach becomes heavier, a knot is loosely formed, our consciousness wavers and we begin to unravel.
That tight knot of stoicism developed over the years of
letdown turns to self doubt and we lose our grip. It goes by many monikers, even privy to ourselves from time. It's an illusive object which is why we clench as hard as we do. Most call it hope.
It pushes on pass the disparities of life for us when we
can't go on. Subsequently hope condemns us to those same ill-fated battles and we keep it alive to champion another day.
A parasite to our own joviality saying to ourselves day in
and day out "Everything's gonna be alright" or "It'll get better". It's all on a whim, a thin line and that's the biggest disappointment of them all.
We don't know if everything's going to be alright, yet
we still say it don't we?