I know you love me. But love me less, okay? There's no need to kiss me hundred times at night just because I show your crush's face! Your saliva definitely isn't good of me.
I know you care for me. But care less, okay? I don't need charging every 10 minutes! I won't die if you just don't charge me for a while.
I know you love to stare at me. But honestly, I hate to stare for too long. Why couldn't you just lock me and let me sleep for a while?!
I know you love talking. Geez, I never knew someone could talk so much! But try to keep your mouth covered while talking.
You just cover me with spit every time! And let me remind you, there's something called Loudspeaker mode inside me too. Please turn it on before you start.
I DO NOT like when your cheeks sweat, and your sweat and oil covers my whole face! Yikes!
And one last request. Please, please let me remind you, I am not your mirror. So don't make kissy faces at me and please try not to get a good look at the inside of your mouth or your nose.
That's utterly disgusting.
Thank you so much,
Yours sincerely, Cell Phone.