carrot cake

to my femme girlfriend who i'm madly in love with:

if I could banish one word from your exquisite vocabulary

it would be the word 'sorry'

i want to curse any asshole who has ever made you feel the need to apologize for your own existence

i remember the day you told me about the sorry jar

how your stepdad tried to break you of your tendency to apologize with a higher frequency than most

a higher frequency that propelled you past your childhood trauma and straight into my loving arms

let these arms of mine serve as a reminder that space is yours

you are already my universe

filling the auditoriums of my heart with your laughter

and yes that's cheesy and yes we're lactose intolerant but it's true. i'd rather be shitting my brains out because of our cheese than enjoying having an intact asshole.

you are better than an intact asshole.

your smile was sculpted from the sweetest memories of your mother's childhood

your lips, those lips. they're okay too.

your eyes dance with stories of blackberry bushes and roses. your grandma's roses.

you are taller than the tallest tree we have ever kissed under.

sorry isn't opening old wounds over tea on the back porch of my college house

sorry isn't recounting the insignificant details of our days, like how the lady at kaiser told me her and her husband were married nine years ago today

sorry isn't sharing secrets we've never before shared

sorry is only the board game i will unearth when our kids complain about having nothing to do and i'm feeling extra competitive and like i want to make them cry that's how badly they lose.

sorry isn't our love

so baby,

be anything but sorry.