Secret Alliance Base
Dash was dead.
He died over Coruscant a senseless death, when the Outrider was hit by the debris of Prince Xizor's skyhook, that was destroyed on Lord Vader's order.
Luke said that he has wanted to warn him not to fly too close at the debris, but it was already too late.
When Luke brought me the death message I collapsed in his arms. My forebodings were right.
There were no more tears left and I felt empty and raddled. With Dash a part of me had died.
Nothing was left for me than the Alliance and the fight against the Empire.
I realized like many others before me that in times of war it's senseless to bond with someone and to forge out plans for the future.
It made me particularly sad that Dash would never know that he was not to blame for the death of the Bothans. It was cruel that he had to die with such a burden on his conscience.
Gavin and Wedge were now constantly around me, probably for fear that I would kill myself out of sheer grief and suffering.
But this wasn't in my mind, because I wanted to take revenge on the Empire.
The all-consuming grief slowly gave way to a dull ache. I just had to pull myself together.
In my state, I was just a burden for the Alliance. I was still grounded since nobody believed me that I wasn't about to commit suicide.
I wished desperate to climb in my X-wing and to fly to the stars. There I would be near Dash. Every morning when I woke up I hoped that it was a bad dream and that Dash would lay by my side.
But this hope was in vain. Dash was dead and would be never come back.
I had to try to accept this truth and get over the loss.
Leia, Luke, Lando and Chewie were together with the droids gone to free Han from the clutches of Jabba the Hutt. I hoped that they would succeed.
It would be tragic if Leia would also lose her great love.
The computer files captured by the Bothans were analyzed and there were already rumors that it were plans for a new Death Star.
If indeed such a thing is to be build, we would do our best that it will never be used. There mustn't be another Alderaan.