I wish I could rewrite my story.
Choose a different path.
Warn me of what comes next.
To go back to 3rd grade, or even 5th with the knowledge of life I have now would be amazing.
I would probably be better.
Not sitting in my bedroom, alone, as my hands shake and pound the keys on my keyboard.
I could be a better friend.
A better sister.
A better daughter.
And I would let someone know the real me.
All of the versions of myself combined.
And who I could talk to.
Because no one does.
And even the one who knows me best,
Doesn't know me at home.
The pain in my stomach, my gut, hopefully, will lift.
And I wouldn't have to remember who I can tell what.
'Cause everyone I know can only know certain things.
And it's hard to remember.
And if one thing slips,
I lose them.
I, and only I, can solve this, for I, and only I, put myself in this place.
And If I had a chance to restart.
To rewrite my story.
Maybe I wouldn't be shaking and shivering and alone.