A month and half has passed after the last time I met Akiyama-kun. Now, I barely met him, I saw him but I’d rather took another path to avoid him.
Today my job were very stressfull, it quite take over my brain and also my health. I did not feeling so well today, just a simple influenza. Tonight I finished all my job at 11.10 pm.
It was pretty late and I doubt I could catch the last train.
I tried to run from the office to station, hoping that I can still catch the last train.
It took about five minutes running down there, and I was glad when I arrived the announcement said that the last train would arrive about fifteen minutes.
When I walked down into platform, I was so surprised. The same bench in front of the railway, there was one man sat on it, and it was no other than Akiyama-kun.
As I know, his last train to his residence is about fifteen minutes ago.
And I wondered why he still here and not catch the bus instead, or is he waiting for someone? If my guess was right, who is he waiting for?
When I saw him sat on the bench, I’d like to turn my body off and tried to waiting in the other bench around ten feets far like I always did.
But I just did not know, my mind commanded me to go to the other bench but my heart pleaded me to stay in that bench.
After a few seconds debating, my heart won, I choose to sit in the bench which Akiyama-kun sits. I slowly walked to the bench and sat on it like a month ago.
I just quiet tried to ignore him and thought as if nobody there.
My heart was racing so fast after I sat, I did not know, was it because I ran so much or just because the one that I still love is on my side.
“Finally I met you.” He suddenly said out of the blue and gently smiled at me.
I just did not understand what was the meaning of ‘finally i met you” yeah it was about a month ago since the last time we met each other and that was always me who who forbid to see his face.
“You missed your last train.” I said to reply his comment, because i did not know how to face him.
“I know.” He said. “Now we have fifteen minutes to explain everything.” He added.
Explain everything? What should explain? Did he hit something?
I was just surprised when I saw him standing in front of me with downcasted-eyes and pleading me to give him everything he did not know. And somehow I saw him depressed himself.
“I don’t know what are you talking about.” I replied then turn around my head to avoid his eyes.
Then I felt he sat again and about thirteen centimeters away from me. Then he let out the big sigh.
Yeah, you are only my one side love, and the fault was on me, and you did nothing to do about it. That’s why nothing to be explained.
“You do it again.” He said again.
“I do nothing.” I quickly said to reply him.
“You do.” he replied.
Yeah it was never be worked, everyhing between us.
“Why you always runaway from me?” he said sadly in a deep tone.
I did not know what is he reffering. I’ve never runaway from him, he was the one who did not want me right. Yes, he is right I always runaway from him.
Like when I saw him in the office, I’d like to wait until he dissappeared, when I unintendedly met in parking lot, I choose to do something with my phone.
When I saw him outside office, I’d rather choose another path to avoid met him in person, like when I saw him sat on the bench in the station to wait the last train,
I’d like to wait for the train in the other platform and back to the platform when he got up in the train.
Yeah I was the one always runaway from him, because seeing him only made my heart hurt. Seeing him and he seeing back at me just made my hope of loving him growing up again.
The hope that i already cast it away.
“Why you always tried to avoid me? Sometimes I wanna ask it, but seems like I no longer exist in your eyes.” He said again with the gloomy tone.
I still keep my mouth silent. I just don’t know how to answer. I just did not want tell him that I love him, because if he knew, he will be the one that will runaway from me.
I just did not want it, I did not want to be hated by him. But if I did not tell him he would always demanding the answer.
Once again my heart and mind at war, my mind told me keep my mouth shut and said that there is nothing and my heart said to spill everything out before everything is late.
Every choice has a terrible consequences.
“Do you hate me that much?”.
Hate, did he think that I hate him, I just too love him that made I hate myself for oversizedly love him.
“I don’t.” I quickly said that.
Then looked at me with surprised, I just did not know how to describing his reaction, there were happy, sad and anger.
Perhaps happy because he did not want me to hate him, sad because he did not hated but why I always avoid him, and anger because why I avoid him yet I don’t hate him.
All the expresssions in his eyes were all just my imagination.
“Then why?” he demanded.
I decided to win my heart once again in the war between me. I will spill everything out to him. I did not care anymore what would he think about me.
Better I spill it and everything will end, either there will be good or bad ending.
“Because I’ve already give up on you.” I finally said it.
“Give up? What do you mean?” he asked curiously to me.
“I love you, you fool.” I looked away to avoid his face and I just did not want to see his reaction.
I said it, I said it! Just now I said it that I love him.
I just wait to see his reaction tomorrow, I will be damned, but I don’t care anymore, my heavy burden has been lifted, this was the best decision to let my heart won the war.
“So why you give up on me then? We haven’t start anything yet, but why you decide to give up.” He asked impatiently and he was very demanding for my answer.
“Because of what you said back then.” I little bit shouted just to make him understand why I gave up on him and let him dumbfounded hear my response. “I bet you don’t remember about it.”
Then he turn away his head away from me and again let the big sigh out.
“I remember.” He said sadly.
“Good to you.” I said again. Then I stood from the bench and I decided to catch a bus or taxi.
At the time like this the better thing was being alone and cried out loud because this rejection and took one day of to sort everything in my mind.
And the day after tomorrow is the brand new step to find another meaning of my life. “I will catch the
“Farewell you said.” He said out of nowhere and made me stop for a while. “I said we have fifteen minutes to explain everything.”
I stopped and turn my body back to face him and he stood from the bench too and his eyes looked at me firmly as seemed as he looked through my heart.
“Everything was explained. And they did not need to take fifteen minutes.”
“You runaway again. Is it what you always do when everything goes wrong?” he said sarcastically.
“I don’t!” i shouted.
“Yes you do!” he shouted back.
“Yes I do! Okay.” I said and i felt my eyes hot because they formed a flood of tears and I tried to hold them back.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to snapped at you.” He took two steps closer to me. “I can’t hold back, because you always runaway from me without hear my explanation.”
“I am actually a clumsy person. I freak out so easily. Everything that surprised me always gone wrong because I just don’t know how to react.” He said as if as he was a sinner.
“When Satoru-san said that we’re destined as a mate, I was so happy but my words said otherwise, because I didn’t know was it okay with you? Was is make you uncomfortable?
Because you are the coolest woman I’ve ever meet.”
I just realized that Akiyama-kun was uneasy too at that time, and the coolest woman, is he valued me that high?
“Just the same as you, actually the one who runaway first is me. I was afraid you will look at me differently, you will underestimated me because I was just junior here.
” He continued his explanation with the sad tone in his voice.
“So, how do you feel about me actually?” I asked and I took one step forward to him. Now just left few centimeter away from him, and I still doubt that I could reach him.
“I love you too of course.” He replied so quick
“My confession is sure surprised you, if you want to say otherwise, I’m okay with that.” I said because I still have a doubt he loves me as i love him.
“I won’t! Definetely I won’t. I won’t let my love slipped again.” He reassured me as he hugged me so tightly as if he will not let go off me.
And still feel unbelieveable I hugged back him and pinched my cheek for so many times to make sure that this not a dream.
“I won’t hear any farewell again from you.” As he whisper in my ears and sent me a shiver to all of my body.
“I won’t” I steadily replied him.
Then there was an announcement that the last train will come shortly as I heard the train slowly approaching.
“Our train finally has come.” He said with gentle, glad and cheerfull smile to me as he wipe my tears ran down to my cheek.
“Which part do you love me much?” i asked teasingly.
“Every part.” Akiyama-san said seriously.
“Not specific.” I answered lil bit annoyed.
“Well, I love the way you brought the book to the toilet, and it made me think that you must be sooo boring
there.” Said him with chukle.
“Then, the way you choosed the book to buy in the bookstore, the way you imagined something into a fantasy fiction to me and to your friends,
then the way you talked about every dream in your sleep, which made me think it could be a superhero movie, the way talking bout superheroes movie and toys you love to Kuze-san and Nakajima-san,
aaannddd many things."
“Are you spying on me?”
“Nope, I was stalking on you.”