I'm kind of new to this. I'm not sure how to start. They said this is supposed to help but I'm not sure how. I feel silly writing all this stuff down, but if it helps my marriage so be it.
The marriage counselor tells me to journal these "problems" so that we can continue to "move forward" and "make progress." I hope she's right. Let's start off with the basics.
My name is David and I'm an accountant. My wife Lisa loves me. She is worried about me. I just need to fix this problem and sleep. And everything can go back to normal. Easy to remember, right?
It's been rather quiet in the house since Lisa left. There's a call here and there, but other than that, it's been a little lonely.
I eat at the table alone, I watch TV alone, and sadly I lay in bed alone. The only solace I get is when I go to the pharmacy to talk to the workers .
I've been trying all these sleeping drugs, but I don't think they work very well. I lay in bed, tossing and turning until dawn. I'm down to three hours of sleep a day.
I go to my next marriage counseling appointment in three days.
I don't want to look tired, but these bags under my eyes stick out like a sore thumb and I walk around like the town drunk swaying back and forth looking fiercely around for my next fix.
These pills are complete garbage! None of them help and, if I take any more, I'm practically overdosing.
It's fine, but the people at the pharmacy are giving me weird looks; like I'm insane!? I just took a deep breath and bought my stuff.
I'm getting about two hours of sleep, but when I am asleep I have nightmares. I'm starting to think if it's even worth sleeping.
I keep coming to the marriage counseling trying to bring Lisa home, but she thinks it's best if she stays away. She says it's "too much" for her, and I need to get it under control.
It upsets me because I feel like I need her more than ever. We are supposed to be a team. She takes one look at me and she turns away. Like I'm some kind of monster! I'm just...tired.
"My name is David and I'm an accountant. I think my wife Lisa loves me. She is just worried about me. I just need to fix this problem and sleep. And everything can go back to normal.
" I find myself repeating those words when I'm awake at night. I got to hold on to something, right? Make sure I'm sane? Anyway I'm having trouble remembering things.
For instance, one time I sat at the table with a cup of coffee and opened a brand new box of Honey Nut Cheerios. But in what seemed like 5 minutes went by the box was empty.
I don't remember eating all of them. Maybe I was just hungry. Either way I don't feel good. I personally feel like my body is running on fumes.
I just feel weaker and weaker every day, like my body is decomposing while I'm still alive.
It's currently three o'clock in the morning. It's pitch black outside except for a few street lights and the moon. It's so quiet around this time at night.
All I hear is the consistent ticking from the clock on the wall, and the whistling from the wind outside. But something isn't right.
I looked out my foggy window and wiped the water vapor off with one swipe of my hand, and underneath the flickering street light there was somebody standing there looking back at me.
Frightened, I rub my eyes frantically to see if this is one of my nightmares and sure enough I think it was.
Because when I put my hands down and opened my eyes, the man was gone! It just seemed so real. Like he was right there in front of my eyes.
I didn't feel so good so I ran to the bathroom and splashed some water in my face, hoping to bring me to a better place.
I look up at myself in the mirror and I'm just petrified in disbelief to see what's in front of me. My reflection... it... didn't have a face.
My lips, eyes, and nose were all missing, and water droplets were falling down this empty, soulless being.
I panicked and ran out of the bathroom not looking back, dove into my bed, curled up in a ball, and began to cry. Hoping to gain a grasp on reality.
I'm having trouble knowing what's real or not. I went to the pharmacy today but something was different. The glass window was completely shattered and the doors were barricaded.
I was so curious I walked in through the broken window and wandered the halls and yelled out to see if anyone was here. Nobody answered.
But when I walked to the aisle that had my medication and there was the cashier. He was on the floor, unconscious and beaten. All the medicine was missing. I called 911 to help him.
Feeling unsafe I drove home before the cops arrived and sat in front of the TV. I turned on the news because I was perplexed about the pharmacy.
But as I looked up at the news host, he stopped speaking and just stared. At first I thought the TV was frozen but then he started talking again but angrier and louder.
He wasn't talking about the news anymore; it felt like he was talking directly to me.
"You! You think you can get away?
! No wonder your wife left you to rot! You are guilty! GUILTY! GUILTY! GUILTY!" It wasn't long until I grabbed a baseball bat and swung at my television, smashing it into pieces.
Drenched in sweat I fell to the floor. Almost paralyzed I started to whimper and cry. Slowly saying "My name is David and I'm an accountant. My wife is afraid of me.
I don't know how to fix this problem. Why can't everything go back to normal?" And I said those words until dawn.
I'm afraid. I'm afraid of them. The monsters that follow me. It's like a nightmare that repeats itself every time. I'm not sure why I even write anymore.
I haven't seen my marriage counselor in a long time. Maybe I just write because I have no one else to talk to.
Is this all I have left? I'm tired of people calling me crazy, I'M NOT AND I'LL KILL WHOEVER SAYS I AM! I was looking through old photos of... of... ugh what's her name! Lora or something.
Lora and I. We were such a cute couple. But as I flipped through these photos more and more. The people in the photos started to be scratched out. Almost... faceless.
I flipped through the pages faster, faster, and faster. They all had no face.
Who were they! I can't remember! They had to be important, right? But the thing is, they weren't scratched out yesterday. I'm sure of it. These monsters are just stealing everything from me.
I won't let them take my identity. Never! I will fight!
I've been on maybe an hour of sleep every other day or so. I don't keep track anymore. I can't even remember the date or better yet what I had for dinner yesterday.
I walked outside my room to see a horror show in my own house. All the drawers were open and everything was torn apart and on the floor. Was I robbed? Nothing was taken that I could see.
The phone was off the wall just dangling there as I saw something that made me staggered. There were big numbers on the wall painted in red saying 5:30 with an arrow drawn towards the phone.
What happens at 5:30? Who was on the phone? Who was in my house?! I bet it was those faceless monsters trying to take whatever I have left.
Never! I won't let them! I'll kill them to show them I'm still alive.
June?? Part 2
My name is David and I'm... No... Come on remember! It's 5:29 and I'm scared. I hear pounding on the door. They're here! No one listened, and nobody understood.
I went into the attic to grab my dad's old hunting rifle. I'm going to end this nightmare once and for all. I hear the jiggling of the lock downstairs. Oh no.
They're in! I hear the creaking of the floorboards as they look for me. I take a deep breath breathing in the smell of gunpowder as I cock my gun. My name is... It doesn't matter. I'm ready.
Local man in Tennessee by the name of David Goodman shoots and kills his wife, Lisa Goodman in the chest with an old hunting rifle.
Police flooded the scene and arrested him not too long after the neighbor called 911 after hearing a gunshot in the house next to him.
Police have been gathering evidence around the house that can calculate that he is psychologically unstable including a journal the suspect used to write in.
The neighbor said that it was just yesterday he witnessed the suspect tear his own house apart throwing and breaking things "as if the world was ending tomorrow".
Not only that, but it appears that David Goodman will also be charged with assault, theft, and vandalism as local security cameras near a local pharmacy market caught him trying to break in.
The cashier was in fear as Mr. Goodman kept calling him a faceless monster. So the cashier tried to barricade the door only to have Mr. Goodman smash through the window and beat him senseless.
Mr. Goodman continued to steal drugs from the store and run away. A marriage counselor that Mr. Goodman worked with tells us that "This seems unlike David.
He loved his wife and always wanted to fix things between them." Apparently Mr. Goodman called his wife a day before the murder to talk things out.
The victim's sister who was living with Lisa at the time said that David called Lisa saying words like "I need to talk to you please.
" and "I can't take it anymore, come back!" Lisa made a plan to go over and meet David at 5:30 to help him. The police haven't gotten David to talk much at all other than a few words.
"My name is..."