No mind can think hard enough to come up with the reason why you keep shutting me out. No heart can feel more pain from the same break three times as the heart you've come to shatter.
And no eyes can poor more tears than the ones you can't look into. I've longed for you to come back for so long but each time you do, you just break me again.
You leave me staring at my own messages wondering what made you stop replying. Each time you walk out the door I blame it on myself.
"You stupid piece of crap, why did you have to say such stupid things? All you ever do is run things into the ground and ruin them, you go too far.
You just push and push and push, maybe if you didn't talk so much. Maybe if you were prettier, had better manners, God, why do you have to be so damn ugly? I can't stand you."
And I cry and cry telling myself this every night because maybe if I were better, maybe if I changed myself to fit your wants you would finally stay. Maybe then I'd be good enough for you.
But I didn't, every time you came back I was the same no matter what I did. So I'm telling you this, not only did you break me, but you saved me.
As much as I should be mad at you for doing what you did, I'm not. Instead I would like to thank you. You don't understand what you did for me.
In all of our memories together, the one where you convinced me to read Naruto was one of the very best.
Because of that I was inspired to start drawing, I wouldn't have found a passion as deep as art if not for you. And when you left me the first time, that was the worst time of my life.
I'd never felt a pain so cruel and devouring as the pain you caused by breaking my heart.
Through growing up without my real father in my life I thought I knew pain all too well but the truth is it didn't really hurt me all that much.
Depression wasn't even a word in my vocabulary until you broke me. 8th grade was the start of my depression when you left me that summer.
But that pain, that word that you created, depression, and YOU inspired me to start writing. That pain was my motivation to write poems.
It showed me how to express my feelings through poetry instead of only writing what teachers wanted you to. Without these two things that you helped me find, I wouldn't be who I am right now.
And I can say this, "every time you hurt me the less that I cry, and every time you leave me the quicker these tears dry, and every time you walk out the less I love you."
Maybe we weren't meant to be, but maybe you were meant to show me what I'm meant to do, what I love to do.
Maybe you were the road to my happiness, so this I'll say from the bottom of my heart, thank you so much for helping me find my destination in life. I'm finally, truly, happy.