The Heart
The Heart stories
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msmelaniesmommy
msmelaniesmommyCommunity member
Autoplay OFF  •  10 months ago

The Heart

The night and I understand one another

We both come alive when the sun goes to bed

While the rest of the world closes its eyes, we open ours

It’s freeing to feel the darkness of the night wrap around me

I feel protected by the covers it puts over the world

Like the monsters of the day can’t get to me

When I cry, the sheet that covers the world muffles the sounds

They can’t hear me now

They can’t see me now

They find me now

I’m alone

Finally

Tears streaming down my face like a river

Eyes stained red from the salty water that rushes out

Throat sore from the gasps of air the sobs bring

Physically I feel like a hole has been made in my chest

Like the place where my heart once sat, is now void

It’s a hollow feeling

So strange to know that a heart was once there in my chest

To know that before this moment, I felt so much

But now there is nothing to feel

How free it is to not have a heart

To not feel bound by emotions anymore

Why would the Tin Man ever wish to have one of those

Now I float like air through the night sky

There is nothing to anchor me to the floors I once felt constrained to

I can finally talk to the stars that used to hear me cry every night

They tell me about the things they see

The people they watch

They tell me that the most lucky ones, are the ones without a heart

Lucky? I have never been able to associate that word with myself

Until now

I am lucky

I have lost my heart and I am lucky

No longer trapped by something so trivial

No longer constrained by emotions

No longer cemented to my bathroom floor

For now, I soar high

We talk and laugh for hours, getting lost in that high

I watch the people with them, many like how I was before

There is one who captures my attention

She is different than the others

She is very cold, very lost

She sits in her tub, water filled up to her chest

Staring blankly at the wall, she is unphased by the tears filling the tub

There is a feeling of numbness that she emits

But I notice that she still has her heart

Why?

Why does she not give it up like I somehow did?

Why is she entrapping herself with these feelings?

I see her pain, but she chooses to bathe in it

She is holding something in her hand

I am too high up to clearly make out what it is

I float down a bit closer to see what this strange girl is doing

She has something grey and shiny in her hand

Flipping it around in between her fingers, her gaze has not left the wall

I am now outside her window

I stare into the glass

I see that what she has is very sharp

A blade of some sort

How very odd

What could she be doing with that in the bath?

I am suddenly filled with a cold, icy feeling

I am nervous

I sense that something bad is near

Her tears have stopped, her face like stone

Someone else walks into the room, but he does not have a face

He is darkness

He comes over to her and sits on the edge of the tub

He takes her hand, the one with the blade, and holds it

They sit there like that for awhile, I can see her struggle with a choice

Should she listen to him?

Should she ignore him?

Should she let him win this time?

He is strong

His thoughts very convincing

She nods

Together take the blade and the water turns red

He goes and leaves her to her bath

She drops the blade to floor and leans back against the tub

I fear for her, she’s beginning to lose consciousness

I want to help

I need to open this window

I shove and shove at the latch but it won’t move

Then I remember that I’m not really here, I am part of the stars

I float through her wall and I’m there with her

It is too late

Her eyes are closed

Lips parted

She looks so peaceful

But I suddenly realize that I recognize her

I know her

She is me

How is this possible?

I have been with the stars

I cried and gave up my heart for tonight

I was not here

Not this

I didn’t do this

I didn’t want this

I didn’t choose this

Is this what happened while I left myself?

I left my body and darkness came upon me

I couldn’t defend myself

He won

He finally won

He took my heart for good

I no longer have a heart

But I do not feel so lucky

I am not lucky

I am no longer free

I am gone

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