I headed to study hall, all dressed in black again. I hated the color black.
My mom, though, says I look the best in it because once, just once, I went to a funeral for a person I didn't even know and I dressed in all black.
She says that since I look good in it, and I have black in my last name, that I should be goth. I hate the personality of goth people, but I am done pleading.
It's my mom that makes my entire wardrobe black, it's my mom that trained me every day so I would be goth, it's my mom who even dyed my hair so every part of me that could be black!
So when I have the chance, I always show people that I am NOT a goth.
The entire science class was there because the class was chosen to be there. There was one sixth grade class, one seventh grade class, and one eighth grade class.
This school is so big, that is all they could fit in this room. But quite honestly, spending another hour with Ms. C wasn't something to complain about.
Plus all of the people in our science class were pretty good friends, well except for the boys and Cody now, but I still haven't wrapped my head around that.
No one tells me anything, so I can't help it.
When I got into Ms. C's room, I sat by the rest of the science class. We all talked while Cody was scribbling random things about Julius Caesar. I almost feel bad for him. Almost.
The thing is, Cody can never undo what he did. Although I don't really know what happened, I still am sort of afraid of him. All of the boys are. The good thing is, I don't think Camile knows...
Now that I think about it, Camile should know. Just not by me. I don't really think she gets me.
I sat by Anthony and Rosalinda, and I dropped in on a very weird story about how Alice had to wash off her fake blemish.
"And this girl named Cassie just kept tormenting me and..."
"Girl, if you are going to keep talking about your sore or whatever, then sksksksksksk out of here," Rosalinda said. We all laughed, even Alice.
I don't know why, but hearing a VSCO girl shut someone up was just so funny.
I looked around. Everyone was talking except Melissa. She was drawing a bird again. "Hey! Melissa!" I said. She looked up. Half of her face was covered with black wavy hair.
She looked intimidated.
"What?" She asked.
"Are you okay?" I asked her.
"Why wouldn't I be?" She asked. Good question.
"You just never talk," I said.
"Aren't you goth?" She asked. "You shouldn't be so empathetic. Either that or you are a very bad goth."
I sighed. "I'm not actually goth. My mom makes me dress this way. But when I get to school, I am myself. It's only eight hours per day for 180 days a year.
I went through training every day during the summer, just so my mom could get me to be goth. I can't really be myself around my family anymore. Everyone knows that I am goth.
" It was weird saying that. But for some reason, Melissa kept eye contact with me the entire time.
"Me too," she said. "I mean, I can be myself around my family, but they are nothing like me. My older sister is just this brat that won the 'Parent's Favorite' award.
My younger sister is just obnoxious and cries all the time. My dad just cries all the time because of my grandpa who died FIVE YEARS ago. And my mom is the only one who keeps us going.
I have a poster in my room, and every day that is like that, I draw a bird. Birds mean peace and love, and for the days that are good, I draw a sun. So far the poster is all birds.
" We all stayed quiet. "So I know how you feel Mikeal. Trust me," she said smiling. I smiled too, even though I knew I shouldn't have. There was a long awkward silence.
Anthony looked down, and slowly everyone else like they were thinking about their own family issues. But I just stayed facing forward. It wasn't a very good place to feel sad around.
The seventh and eighth graders were talking, louder and louder. And yet, it still felt dead silent.
It felt like it had been three months of school so far. By then though there would be snow. At least snow is uplifting, pretty.
I started to think about what some of these people were thinking. I mean, Cody has a dead dad, I know about Anthony's life, and now Melissa's, but everyone else's, I had no clue.
Rosalinda was probably the most spoiled girl on the planet, Alice was just plain weird, Trev was just ok with everything,
Camile's dad worked at John Deer and they probably lived in Millionaires Lane, and Abbey was just a little brat. No matter how hard I thought, I couldn't come up with a reasonable answer.
Everyone sat in solemn silence until the bell rang. The first day of school came and went, like the lifespan of a balloon.
I put my stuff in my locker and got my backpack ready to go home, and as soon as I walked through the doors of the school to go outside. I was officially done with the first day of school.