I cried, like I always did. Why can’t I be as smart as Avery and as funny as Josh? I’m just useless and a pice of shit. I don’t even know why I’m existing. I’m such a waste of space.
I turned around and whipped away my tears once again as I heard my mom calling for me “Lydia darling? Are you ok?” She asked and knocked at the door.
I sniffed and answered “ yea! I’m fine mom just leave me alone please”. I heard her sigh “honey please let me in” she said.
I considered to simply open the door and tell her everything what’s on my mind. Really, I thought about that. But my mom is different than me. She was cool at school not like me..
she wouldn’t understand.. and I couldn’t explain. I heard steps leading away from my room. She went downstairs again.
I’m so sick of all this shit! Of always being the stupid dumbass friend! I’ve had enough of feeling like I’m drowning and watching everybody else breathing!