I opened up my window and looked down. I guess it was 10 to 12 meters to the ground. For a second I caught myself thinking about the pain I would feel if I would just jump.
I wondered if the time slows down in that moment and you feel the pain twice as long as it actually is.
I sat on the window sill my feet dangling against the house wall. I took a deep breath and closed my eyes as I heard children laughing in the distance.
I remembered my own childhood, it wasn’t as funny as theirs. A small tear ran down my face. In that Moment I realized I never felt happy or blessed. My whole life is just a torture.
The voices inside my head agreed with me for the first time since they came up. So I pushed myself off the wall and in that moment I felt free.
I felt the wind blowing through my hair and I saw the sky looking so beautifully sad.
I decided to finally breath again.