Pulse
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mitchel"Fight it,take the pain,ignite it"
Autoplay OFF  •  5 months ago
Hope is a dangerous thing.

Pulse

by mitchel

"Hey, so we changed the first two lessons from Thursday to Monday." I typed on my phone while I was eating a sandwich. "Well, I will just visit the lessons in the afternoon.

"But if you want to do some maths during lunch, we can study at 13:00 pm?"He asked a few minutes later. 'Hmm what shall I respond?' I thought to myself and picked up my phone from the table

Nervously I typed some words and deleted them again. The time passed and i still haven't replied..

An eternity later I found some kind of sentences that I can send that way"Alright, but I don't know if we've got lessons in the afternoon, if the teacher brought them forward."

"Shall we still study?"I asked unsure. My hands started sweating and I became more nervous every second it took him to answer.

I don't really know, why I'm reacting so strange to this situation. I've texted him a lot the last year and I was never that tensed. What's different that time?

My phone made the typical noise when I get a text message and abruptly I grabbed it. Expectant I was reading the message

"hmm..that would be bad. Well if he's putting the lessons forward, we can still decide if we want to study or if we're going home, how does that sound?" He asked.

And I agreed though I hate spontaneous things I prefer structure and order. I decided to make an exception, only once. "Alright that sounds good, lets see what's happening tomorrow. See you."

I put the phone beside and made the dishes. Right as I entered the living room, where I left my phone, I saw the display was brightened. Irritated I unlocked it and saw a new message.

"Oh dear, what would I do without you?" As I read the text I almost dropped my phone. Was that text really of him? Actually his name is standing on top of the chat, it was him.

A strange feeling overcame my belly and my heart just went from beating normal to totally exploding inside. My hands got shaky and and I blushed.

With a strange and kind of good feeling I went to bed and thought about his words nearly the whole night. Was I something special for him? He called me dear, so I have to be, or not?

Immediately I started to imagine the conversations we are going to have tomorrow, what he would wear, how he would smell, how he will look at me. At that point I started smiling.

I liked the imagination of us sitting there at a table talking about everything and nothing. With his beautiful smile on my mind I slowly drifted into a sound sleep.

The next day

Happily I walked outside the classroom ready for maths while I was looking for him at the corridor. I put my books into my locker and continued searching him.

Abruptly I stopped walking as I saw him at the end of the corridor standing there, leaning against the wall with his hands in his jacket pockets.

Jenna, a girl of our physics class ,was standing in front of him, pushing her lips against his while he grabbed her around her waist. She was leading her fingers through his hair

and I swear I could hear them both breathing heavily. At this moment a little piece of my heart just splitted..I felt dumb, stupid and naive.

How could I thinkt that I could please someone?!

I will never know how this feels.

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mitchel"Fight it,take the pain,ignite it"
4 months agoReply
@michaelschulze wow thank you for that great comment:) I couldn't find better words than yours😍

4 months agoReply
If when or for how long someone loves you is out of your control the only thing you can control is your love for someone for yourself especially yourself and what other people may think of you is non of your business what you think of yourself is what counts and yes everyone is worth it A good story even if it was a tragic ending