prisoner
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mitchel"Fight it,take the pain,ignite it"
Autoplay OFF  •  5 months ago
"Feeling bad the whole time is a normal thing" a depressed person.

prisoner

by mitchel

"Alright, see you there!" She said through the phone "yeah, see you." I answered. It was lunch time and I had 8 hours left till meeting Tara.

I felt kind of happy seeing her but something inside me made me feel bad about it. With every hour which passed I felt worse. For a second I wanted to call her and cancel the dinner..

but I haven't seen her for a while. I really wanted to meet her and ask her how she's doing.. but I just didn't feel good while thinking about meeting her. I couldn't even explain it!

It sounded crazy..or not? What's wrong with me?! Meanwhile I got back home from the office and made a cup of tea. "Shall I go? Shall I cancel everything? I really want to stay at home!"

I started sweating and I felt sick. My head hurted and I begun to panic. I opened a few windows and hoped it'll help "take a deep breath now and stop panicking!" I thought and did my best..

the best not to freak out. But this strange feeling! It got worse and worse every second now..I walked around and was nervously sweating "come on Sarah it's just a dinner with your best friend!"

But I just couldn't help myself getting rid of this feeling.."I have to cancel this!" I thought and run into the livingroom searching for my phone

"Hi Tara, I'm really sorry but I have to cancel tonight..I feel really sick. May be the sushi I had for lunch. I hope we can make it another time. -Sarah "

Send. I felt like a huge weight has been taken of my shoulders..I felt..good. At the same time I had a bad conscience for canceling without any practical reason. .and for lying to her..

"I guess I just had a bad day, like the other times. It won't happen again..hopefully." I tryied to calm myself down.. But something inside me made me know that this wasn't the last time.

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