Bored I was staring at the monitor in front of me as the bell rang - lunchtime.
"Man I'm so hungry I thought I would die haha" Tim said while we were walking through the corridor. "Yeah, i couldn't wait longer" James added.
We were searching for a table with enough chairs for all of us and finally found one near a window. The others started eating,
while I was just staring at their food and tried to resist the craving to eat also ."Elena don't you want to eat something?" James asked and I felt uncomfortable about that question.
I don't like to talk about food..cause that means I'm talking about my bad habits and that leads to criticism about what I'm eating and how much I'm eating..
"Well..I'm not hungry" I responded attempting to sound serious. "Oh, but you haven't eaten a thing today? How can't you be hungry?" Tim asked astonished. "I don't know I'm just not hungry."
The time passed slowly and I had to fight harder and harder against my growling stomach. "No Elena! You're not allowed to eat!" I thought to myself "you're fat enough! Discipline!"
"I can hear your stomach growl, wouldn't you mind to eat something? I mean we've still got the whole afternoon left are you sure you can hang on?" Tim asked again and seemed worried.
"Yeah I can hang on" I answered with a smile to hide my uncertainty.
Meanwhile the last lesson of the day began
I felt weak and tired as the bell rang and the others ate the last things they had left from lunch. My stomach didn't only growl anymore it was hurting and my hands were shaking.
After the bell rang for the last time of the day we all packed our bags and were walking to the bus stop.
"Elena are you okay? You look really tired and shaky?" James asked and was taking my bag of back "everything's alright guys I'm just tired the day was hard" I answered.
At the evening
It's been 2 days now since I've eaten the last time. I was proud that I preserved the torture so far but I was so fucking hungry! I walked to the mirror and looked at myself..
"No, I don't want to stay that way!" I said to myself so I went to bed and prayed for the strength to preserve till the end - till I'm thin enough - till I'm pretty.