Aurora & Cam
Aurora had stayed over the night, and she was sleeping in my room. My dad was out working and my mom was still asleep.
I took a deep breath. I could do this. Today. It was going to be today. We'd stayed up pretty late last night because Aurora was helping me practice.
She fell asleep eventually but I couldn't get to bed.
"Good morning, Cam." I heard my mom say.
She walked in lazily from the back of the house into the kitchen, getting utensils.
"Hey, uh, Mom?" I felt my heart speed up.
"What is it, honey?" She asked unbothered.
I shook my head. "I need to tell you something."
She turned around. "Anything bad?"
"No, I don't think so." I swallowed. "Mom, I identify as genderfluid."
My mom blinked a few times. "What's that?"
"It means, sometimes I am a boy and sometimes I'm a girl. Sometimes I'm neither. It depends." I said slowly.
While I was explaining my mom looked more and more frightened. "So in other words you're saying that MY DAUGHTER-"
"I'm not your daughter!" I yelled in frustration. Shoot. That came out wrong. "I mean, not all the time. Not right now too."
"How dare you yell at me!" My mom yelled right back. "That's it. I'm leaving right now."
I was confused. "What, why?"
"To pray for you!" She said. "Your life is going to be ruined! I need to save you, my beautiful girl."
I flinched and leaned against the wall. My mom stormed out in tears.
I slid down slowly and let it all out. Not crying. Just screaming.
"Hey, hey, hey, what's wrong?" Aurora ran to my side.
I slammed the back of my head against the wall. I couldn't even bring myself to cry.
It hurt so bad that no one understood me. Well no one other than Aurora.
I felt like ripping off my own skin because it made me so uncomfortable, I wish I was born in a different body or with a different brain.
Waking up everyday to something different was painful and made me feel sick to my stomach, why couldn't I be the same?
"Why can't I be normal?" I whispered to myself.
But then again I didn't want to be normal. I wanted to be myself.
It was all so complicated and I couldn't figure anything out and it just made me feel so useless and everything felt like it was falling apart, falling down,
I couldn't stop it I couldn't do anything I can't there aren't any breaks there's nothing there's nothing at all nothing to break my fall nothing to stop-
Aurora put her arms around me in a hug. "Hey. It's going to be okay, because I accept you for who you are and you're not alone."
My thoughts came to a stop. I tried to focus on my breath.
"You don't need to know everything about yourself." Aurora tried to make me feel better. "Those things come on their own."
She was probably right. "Thanks." I said.
"Let's go have fun today, okay?" Aurora said with a smile. "You deserve it for being so brave."
I nodded and smiled back. "Yeah."
Back to Faith & Eli
Today was another beach day, and we did a lot of swimming. It felt nice for me to exercise that much but considering Eli was still recovering from it I guess he wasn't used to it.
By 'recovering' I meant struggling not to fall asleep while standing. We were in the elevator going to our floor and he looked like he was ready to collapse.
"You alright?" I stifled a laugh.
"Yeah, I'm okay." He shook his head awake.
I stood closer to him so that he could lean on me if he needed. He took the invitation but the doors opened just as he closed his eyes.
"Come on," I said, dragging him along.
I still found hotels fun, the hallways looked intimidating at first but I had come to like them. I opened the door and Eli just face-planted into the bed.
"I'm going to take a shower," I said. I thought for a second and added, "babe."
Eli's head shot up just as I walked into the bathroom.
I changed and brushed my hair, careful not to undo the braid. I fiddled with it in my fingers for a second, remembering the day he made it for me. I smiled softly.
I walked out and saw that Eli had changed as well, developing a sketch at the desk.
"Not sleepy anymore?" I asked.
"No, I just needed some rest." Eli said.
I waddled over behind him to see what he was doing. The sound of a pen moving against the paper sent shivers up my spine.
He was outlining something, and after taking a closer look I saw that it was an overview of the city. It was beautiful. Eli was truly talented.
"How." It wasn't really a question.
"How what?" He laughed a little.
"How the hell can you make such amazing images?" I said in amazement.
He laughed even more and set it aside. "Outline is done!"
"Outline?" I asked. I had no idea how he did it.
"So I sketch it first, roughly, then I make an outline with ink, erase the pencil, and finally I colour it in." Eli explained.
"Ooooh." I said in realisation.
He got up from the chair. "Do you want anything to eat?"
"I think I'm okay." I replied. We stood there for a second.
"And uh," I started. "Thank you."
He looked confused. "For what?"
"For bringing me here. With you." I explained. "It was really fun."
"Of course, no problem!" He said, smiling.
Without warning I hugged him.
"I love you." I whispered, listening to his heartbeat.
Eli stayed silent for a moment. "Did I hear you right?"
I nodded. "Yeah. I really love you."
Eli's arms wrapped around me slowly. "I love you too."
I didn't want this moment to end, really. And I was so grateful for this moment. Before I met him, I was the most ungrateful person you could ever meet.
I didn't care for my family except my sister, I didn't care about school and I didn't stop to see all the people that surrounded me.
But ever since I've met Eli I've changed. I've noticed things slowly and learned things with him. I really am happy. And the cause? It's the boy I love. Eli.