To the crew;
After speaking with human resources there is something that I have decided to address with you all directly. I am going to be revealing some very personal information.
I know how word travels and some of you or maybe all of you already know this, but I’d rather you have all the information so that you can see the whole picture.
Those of you who’ve worked with me for a while know that I used to get extremely irritable at work. Though this was never directed at my coworkers, I can see how it may have alarmed them.
Around the time of the eagle creek fire this became directed inward and manifested with me repeatedly using knives to deliberately injure myself. It quickly became an addiction.
I went to Karla when I was unable to stop. It was decided that I should go on short term disability and seek intensive therapy.
That’s where I was most of the summer, in an intensive outpatient treatment program at providence.
After completing IOP I spent seven months doing dialectical behavioral therapy after work on Monday’s.
In both IOP and DBT I have learned a number of valuable skills in managing my own symptoms and emotions.
I am also now enrolled in an additional six month therapy program called acceptance and commitment therapy.
I hope that you have seen a difference in my personality. I should be much more even keeled now that I have these tools and the right combination of medications.
Nevertheless, I recently had a set back where I faced a strong craving at work and a coworker was alarmed to see me with a knife.
I didn’t actually use it on myself, but I can see the cause for concern.
This particular coworker was alarmed for their own safety, and that is what ultimately caused me to address this.
I am mentally ill and I suffer from it a great deal but I still have to work to support my family. This will be a struggle with me for my entire life.
But right now I need your help in getting past my past behaviors. I need to assure you all that this is a strictly internal battle within me, and it will never be directed outwardly.
I go through depressive episodes which last several days, during these times I am more quiet and reserved. If I seem down or depressed that is likely why.
I hope that I can have your support and understanding as I continue to struggle with this, and I’m sorry for any anxiety I have caused.