Day five of sobriety. I downloaded a sobriety app on my phone. It’s been five years and two months since I last drank alcohol. It’s been five days since I had any marijuana.
I was bad and did try some kratom two days ago, but it had no affect on me thanks to a medication I take that blocks it.
I still was ashamed of trying and nevertheless I set that clock back so it’s at two days. I’ve also added cutting and soda to my list.
Luckily I don’t use tobacco so I don’t have to try and quit that.
Speaking with my psychiatrist, the conventional wisdom used to be to quit one thing at a time,
but now they are realizing that people are actually more successful quitting multiple bad habits in unison.
I figure as long as I am out of work and have access to all this therapy I might as well use the opportunity to lead the more pure lifestyle that I have thought about for years.
I’m feeling really good about my sobriety today. Hence the focus of the journal. I’m proud of myself but it’s more than that. I think my anti depressants are working better.
I’m having less moments of despair, and far less suicidal thinking. I suppose I always used to try and feel control, but now I feel like I have real control and that is a very nice feeling.
My kids have been pretty good. Which really helps. My nine year olds face lit up when I told him I wasn’t smoking pot any more.
At school they’ve really drilled the anti smoking, and although marijuana is safer than tobacco, smoking is still rough regardless. He is happy that I am taking better care of myself.
I got my fish tank set up yesterday, so my oscar fish is happily swimming in it. It took most of the day so it helped me stay on track.
I also got some yard work done, so I got lots of exercise.
Today I’m going to take some time for myself. Maybe play a video game a bit, or sit out in the yard with the chickens and read. I’m going to try and come up with some poems too.
As always thank you for reading and taking this journey with me. Your support means the world to me!