I Like My Scars
I Like My Scars pain stories

mipoet Insomniac
Autoplay OFF   •   3 years ago
***Trigger warning***
I like my scars. Is that messed up?

I Like My Scars

I like my scars.

Is that messed up?

Some perverse pride.

The same part that likes blood.

To see it coming out. To feel it.

Thick and red, oozing.

Life and death,

both lay with blood.

I enjoy the pain.

It feels hot, or scratching.

Sometimes, I feel none,

usually when I make a big scar.

Then comes regret.

For they hurt my loved ones.

I wish that I could see them,

but hide them from all others,

so that none would worry.

None would concern themselves.

I would not feel the guilt.

Guilt that I feel when I let them down.

The people who love me.

Who do care about me.

So how to quit,

when I don’t want to?

I have to do it for them.

At the end of the day,

I like my scars.

But I love my family.

So I will do my very best,

to stop making more.

Cravings I will fight.

Intense. So intense.

When I’m stressed or weak.

That’s when it will get me.

But perhaps if I am lucky,

I’ve already made my last one.

Or perhaps I’ll fail tomorrow.

That’s the thing with this.

It can happen any time.

Even just because.

But if I fail, I will try again.

And again, and again.

For them, my family.

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