Afraid
Afraid cutting stories
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mipoet
mipoetMy psychiatrist says he'd vote for me.
Autoplay OFF  •  a year ago
I am so very afraid. I took the knife to my boss, told her that I was cutting, and then they placed me on leave.

Afraid

I am so very afraid.

I took the knife to my boss,

told her that I was cutting,

and then they placed me on leave.

Looking at all my actions,

they say for my well being.

Everyone in my business.

What if I cannot go back?

It’s how I support my kids,

my wife, me, and everything.

As much as I can hate it,

I need it to stay alive.

Without it I’ve lost so much.

My demons go after me.

My hope tries to battle them.

They’ve just told me to get help.

But what help am I to get.

There is no program for this.

At least not that I can find.

So I don’t know what to do.

I see the doctor tonight.

Maybe he’ll have some ideas,

or change my medication,

but he can’t make my fear go.

Nothing cuts through this demon.

I am paralyzed by it.

This fear, about everything.

I pray in time it leaves me.

Till then I sit on a blade,

precarious on the edge,

balanced carefully, and scared.

I am consumed and afraid.

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