A few reasons why
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milenamacugliashades-ofmagic@tumblr.com
Autoplay OFF  •  4 months ago
A few reasons not to expose yourself to unnecessary pain and to have a little hope.

A few reasons why

by milenamacuglia

I do believe it is important, but it's not for everybody

there is a LOT of triggers in this conversation , and as someone recovering from depression, it's just too dangerous sometimes;

I wouldn't want my family to watch

they suffered enough with my depression without having to imagine that I could commit suicide and leave a letter listing their mistakes

I wouldn't want to blame someone

it's a lot more complex than this and it's not about vengeance, it's about not seeing a way out, about not seeing a reason to live, it's thinking about suicide knowing it will destroy your family

Suicide is silent and lonely

it's not a show to shock people, it's a last resource, a final rebellion against your pain, it's a surrender;

There is nothing romantic about it

it's pure, consuming darkness, it's your own mind telling you it can't go on like this, feeling this pain, this numbness and despair;

Suicide does feel like a option

but only when you are extremely sick, when you can't see any other option, it's not a choice when it seems like the only way;

And that is when you seek help

your family, a friend, a teacher, a colleague, a partner, your favorite waitress at that cozy cafe, your boss, anyone can help at that point;

All you need is ten seconds of insane courage

and then you have someone willing to help you, even if it is just by listening to you, or a hug, a comforting word goes a long way to remind you to have hope;

Hope is in the little things.

And life goes on;

And suddenly, you are living.

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4 months agoReply
This was powerful and courageous. I am glad you shared your wisdom. I cannot even fathom the depths of despair that come with clinical depression. The insidious mind control of the imbalanced chemistry. Yes, you are correct that it leaves those left behind with a horrendous guilt for something they did not do. Great post!!!!