Routine
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milenamacugliashades-ofmagic@tumblr.com
Autoplay OFF  •  4 months ago
Routine (noun).
1.a customary or regular course of procedure.
2.commonplace tasks, chores, or duties as must be done regularly or at specified intervals; typical or everyday activity.
3.regular, unvarying, habitual, unimaginative, or rote procedure.
4.an unvarying and constantly repeated formula, as of speech or action; convenient or predictable response:

Routine

by milenamacuglia

Guess I am doing fine

I like to think so, anyway

My depression is in control, college is interesting, even if is tiring, my family is together, can't complain really

But I am supposed to move in a few weeks

A new house, a new city, everything I don't want to deal with right now

It seems as if just as I am starting to feel at home, at peace with myself, something happens to change it all

We are moving because of my father's new job, moving even farther from college

I know I really can't complain, but I am so tired of having to fight so much to simply go to college every day

And it seems so unfair to me that there are people who have everything I have ever wanted and don't value it

I would give everything to live closer to college, just some place to sleep and not have to take a two hour bus ride to get to college

It might make me stronger in the long run, but I can't help but think it's unfair

I am almost 19 years old and I am so tired of having to smile and say I feel great about my life

Like I am not tired and exhausted of my routine, of not having enough time to sleep, to make things I really want to

Maybe it will make me stronger in the future, but now I just feel how consuming it is to live a life like this

Wake up at 4:30 am Take the bus at 5 am Arrive at college at 7 am Classes until 12 am three times a week/ 17 pm two times a week Six disciplines and internship at the hospital

Work at the weekends from 13:45 to 22:00 pm Studying for tests and doing homework

Reading for pleasure makes me guilty, because I could be studying for college

I can't sleep because I am always thinking about tomorrow

I don't always feel like eating because it makes me sick

I fight my family because I don't have patience or time to do somethings like going out at the weekend or play a game with the family

Then there is myself

Sometimes I just don't want to exist in this world anymore

I'm tired and there is no time

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bernardtwindwilGold CommaGranddad & story teller, tomthepo8.com
4 months agoReply
@milenamacuglia You keep on writing and I'll keep on reading. Understanding that depression is not caused by being a bad person is half the battle.

milenamacugliashades-ofmagic@tumblr.com
4 months agoReply
@bernardtwindwil I am studying psychology, witch gives me a better understanding of what I am going trough, even tough just writing about it helps me a lot :)

bernardtwindwilGold CommaGranddad & story teller, tomthepo8.com
4 months agoReply
What is your major? You have done an excellent job climbing from depression. This is not a morose tale just truthful one. Great story.!!!!!!!!