I am still alive. Open my eyes and the only things which I can see are ceil and part of the window in the corner. I get up with the pain in my head, searching for the water and pills.
Music is still playing on my laptop. Wish i could make it silent. Wish i could listen to the silence. I need the fresh air and cigarette. "Open my window", my mind said.
I am looking the landscape through the small window of my room, like my eyes as a port to the outside's world. Nothing is changed, at least at the first sight.
I want to switch the light of to see outside better but I am not sure. If I do, I feel more loneliness. "Shall I put my clothes on and go for walking" my mind said. No it is too late.
I do not know exactly when I had my last meal. It seems that my body does not accept food. Am I dying in this room? Maybe yes maybe no.
The only thing I know is that I am not in the right place and right time. To where am I belong?
I am thinking about my family, friends and my wife. How can I make them forget about me. If I could I go for changing my name. I want to feel free.
My cigarette is burning my finger and it helps me to comeback to the reality. I go in front of the mirror while I am looking myself. Nothing is changed but hope.
Trying to hug myself in my mind which is the only thing I can do honestly for myself. Back to bed and try to sleep which is the best way escaping from myself and all the things around me.
The music is still playing. It is "High Hopes" by Pink Floyd.