The words I hear are simply a fragment of my imagination. Words that drown me so deep in my own mind that the words drown out themselves.
A conversation piece, a echo, a creek under you bed at night, a buzz of a fly. These words make me as dry as a reservoir, they hollow me out, but it isn’t just them.
I used to rip out my insides so that I could feel nothing, tears where my only weakness. Weak. Emotions where like a barrier I wanted to break but I never could.
I drove near to insanity and wanted to fall ill one day, I always wanted to be ill. Not for attention.
Not for a moment to stay in bed but for someone to say they cared or maybe a way to see who your real friends are or maybe a hope that a chance of death might bring out
the words ‘I love you’ from someone you fell in love with in grade 8 but never had the chance to say.
Or maybe to to pry a ‘I love you from’ from your own two lips because you sealed those words so deep inside of you that you wanted to forget but you do want to keep reminding yourself that
you will never have to use those words since nobody will fall in love and so you don’t get disappointed so you tuck all those feelings,
all that pain that build up like a idle volcano and one day burns you alive and the last thing is your head as the agony of the past crushes you from the inside is ‘was It worth it?’