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melanieanebel🖤18. INFP. Dreamer and warrior. 🖤
Autoplay OFF  •  a year ago
A guy who will always be in my heart.


When I first saw you, I blushed, embarrassed for some reason, just because I thought you were cute.

You smiled at me, and held open the door to the church. I didn’t even know your name.

I kept thinking about you after that.

We always made eye contact, and my little 13 year old heart felt something tick.

I dreamt about us holding hands, you fighting for me, us being our awkward selves like we were in real life.

You asked my cousin about me. You told her I was cool, that we were texting. I even texted you first, I never do that.

You had no idea how I felt, and I still wonder to this day, how you did.

While things came crashing down, you were there to back me up. You stood up for me when I was down. Little did you know, the rumors were true. I liked you.

That summer I came to realize, I loved you.

And I know, I know, I was 14 at the time. It seems so young, but can a persons emotions really be dictated by age?

I wanted to be with you. I wanted to hold your hand, and to kiss you. I wanted to feel your arms wrapped around me, and I wanted to explore our relationship with God together.

But I was a coward. While you stood up for me, I backed down. I ignored you, I didn’t smile back. I looked away from your stares.

How could I do that? How could I do that when you had done nothing but be a good friend?

I wanted to explain things, to tell you in person, but I never got the chance. When I finally got the courage, you were busy, or so you said.

And for months, years later, I thought about you. I dreamt of you still, but differently. I wanted to be your friend if that was all I could be. You were one of the greatest people I’ve ever met. It would have been worth it to even call you a friend.

I’ve written countless lyrics about you, dedicated songs to you that I can’t listen to without crying.

No one has compared to you. I haven’t liked anyone else since. It’s been four years, and I still think of you every day. I’m 18 now, and I know I was in love, I wasn’t exaggerating.

You’ll always have a piece of my heart, even if you don’t want it.

You were my first love, the one who got away.

You were.

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