I want to say things get better, but do they really?
I want to tell you that the bullying will stop, and people will stop judging you, but I don’t want to lie.
Right now, You’re a free spirit. You sing to yourself when you’re lonely. You write your emotions down instead of speak them. You’ll be called the “quiet girl”. You’ll still deal with your weight.
These things have not changed.
The boy who said Hitler was his idol, and meant it:
When he calls you stupid, you’ll believe him. When he asks why you haven’t killed yourself yet, you’ll start to question it. When he slaps you across the face, you won’t react.
But you’ll forgive him. He’ll say he won’t remember you, but you know he’s lying.
The boy who played guitar:
You’ll fall in love with him, but everything will fall through. You won’t be able to get him out of your head, years after. Half the things you write will be about him, so much so, that you’ll even get tired of it.
The girl who you thought was too cool for you:
She’s as kind hearted as you expected, and she’ll quickly become your best friend. She won’t know how to take care of herself, so you’ll have to help her, a lot. She will always be there, and it will never change.
And what will change for you?
You’ll become a mental health advocate.
You’ll learn to love yourself.
And the future will be unknown, except for the path you pave yourself. And your expectations will only grow lower.
Not because you don’t believe you can do it, but because you understand that enough is enough.
Because you know that if you don’t have time alone you get depressed.
And people will try to tell you that being introverted is a weakness, but I can assure you, they’re wrong.
You’re stronger than you’ll feel at most times, you’ll learn to cope with your depression, you’ll accept the need for antidepressants, and you’ll learn to ignore your families comments on what’s best for you.
You’ll become an adult.
So prepare yourself, Love, The future you.