by a lost friend
Really, I'm not sure...
Is this? Or is this not another step up?
I looked in the mirror.
Really, yes! I know you can't believe it!
But there's more to it than 'looking in a mirror'
1. I had to fight
I struggled against myself to step out of bed. I woke up with all too many demons and monkey swimming and crawling on me.
2. Each step was a labour
It was difficult to even look forwards.
3. Looking down,
I prepared myself. I had sat there a few minutes telling myself, reminding, convincing my ill brain that what it was about to see wasn't what everyone else sees. It wasn't me?
4. Then I looked
I looked up.
I screamed. I shook. I cried for help me as I ran.
I ran away . I only saw for seconds.
I'm not too proud of what I saw.
I saw someone fat. Someone obese, covered in imperfections and scars. I don't know who it was, but it wouldn't have been me.
The scale says 112. The tape measure says 5'4". The people say I look fine.
So why can't I see it that way?
That's all that matters right?