"Sometimes we survive by forgetting" -Unknown
I slowly opened my eyes blinking multiple times adjusting to the light before I could stare up at a white ceiling.
I could hear people talking but it was in a form of echoes but I actually caught a glimpse of the conversation. Slowly I started to sit up which caused me to groan and start to feel dizzy.
"Chanel" A woman said from afar "Chanel, Baby oh my god"
I groaned one more time and adjusting to my position sitting up, and started looking around. Three white walls, probably the one behind me is white too.
Covered with white sheets, white floors and.. mom?
"Sweetheart.." She started "How are you feeling?"
"Dizzy" I said resting my head back "Where am i?"
"You're in the hospital.." she said holding my hand "Thank god you're awake.."
Wait what.. "Hospital??" I blinked in confusion "Why? What happened?"
Just then my father came inside the room with a girl my age.
"Chanel!" She exclaimed and came to stand beside the bed "I was starting to lose hope.."
"You were involved in a car accident.." My mom explained "You've been in coma for the past 2 months"
I breathed heavily trying to take in the words she said. Accident? How?
"Let's not talk about that, Aunt Paulina." The girl sighed "Let's just thank god she's okay"
"I'm sorry but.. Do I know you?" I asked the girl who responded with a shocking expression
"Chanel, Its me Mia" She said
"Sorry.. I don’t.." I tried to gather my thoughts of her but I just didn’t know who she is
"I'm your best friend" she said
"I don't know.. I can't.."
My best friend? What? I don’t get it..
"I'm going to get the doctor" My father said then disappeared behind the door. Shortly after, He reappeared with the doctor behind him.
The doctor came in and did his check ups. When the girl.. I think her name was Mia?
"Doctor, She doesn't remember me.." She explained "How can she not remember me? I've known her for years. I'm her best friend"
" The doctor started "It's a possible Retrograde amnesia" He explained " Recent memories are less likely to be recovered,
but older memories will be easier to recall with the strengthening of time. It's usually temporary and can be treated by exposing them to old or lost memories"
I looked at my mother to find her hand over her mouth and tears building up in her eyes.
"Mom.." I felt my heart clench so hard seeing her like this. "It's okay mom.. I'm okay.."
My father held her tightly and rubbed her back then kissed her temple "We can remind her, Paulina. What matters is that she's alive"
A tear fell down my cheeks while watching my parents together. 2 months? They had hope in me for 2 months. It was probably too hard already.. Now they have me back but with an Amnesia.
Physically, I'm tired. Emotionally, I feel nothing, its more like I don’t know how to feel.
Happy that I'm alive, or sad that I wont remember a huge part of my life or frustration cause there is nothing in my hands to do.
"So, we were in school together?" I smiled
"Yeah, We were the bestest of friends" Mia said "When your mom called me I came running"
"Um.. Do you know how the accident happened?" I asked
"People said its a car accident" she explained
I sighed and rested back. For the past hour she's been trying to remind me of herself.. She seems like a sweet person. I just can’t really remember anything she said.
"Hey girls" Mom came inside the room smiling
"When can I leave the hospital mom?"
"We can leave in a few days but we're going to have to follow-up with a doctor" she said "And he said you can go to a Psychiatrist if you would like that"
"I just want to get out of here.. we'll see what happens after that" I smiled at her
We stood in front of the door of my house and I looked around. The feeling of nostalgia that hit me was strong. I remember my childhood days.. Ish.
I remembered that I used to go to the park with my friends, we'd play hide and seek and more of those childish games. We'd eat ice cream and compliment each other.
I sighed and walked through the door after standing in front of it for what seemed like a lifetime.
"Your bedroom is upstairs; down the hall and the bathroom is-"
"Mom, I remember the house. Not total memory loss. Remember?"
"Right. Sorry sweetheart.." She walked close to me and rubbed my shoulder "I'm having a hard time getting used to this"
"I understand, mom" I hugged her tightly. I felt safe, I needed to feel that it was going to be okay. As I remember, my mom's arms are the only place that protects me.
After settling in, I decided that I was asleep for a very long time and I’m not gonna pass another second sleeping.
I went on a walk around the neighbourhood, I went to the park, Swam in the pool.. I did everything that can make me feel thankful I’m alive.
Problem is.. Some people looked at me with disgust. I didn't get it but I guess they think I’m crazy because I’m all excited to live my life.
I walked into the kitchen to find mom standing in front of the fridge inspecting the contents.
"Hey mom, can I please go to the grocery store with you?"
"No Chanel, You need to rest" she said while closing the fridge "You've been going out a lot lately and you need to rest"
"Mom, Please" I pouted
"No. You need to rest." She held her bag
"Mom, I'm alive. You can’t just cage me. I've been living in this unknown world full of weird visions and only god knew if I was gonna come back. But I am. I don't wanna pass a day unlived.
I wanna make up for all the days I missed."
She sighed deeply and nodded "Fine" She started walking to the door "Let's go"
"Yes!" I ran after her then we got into the car
"Buckle up" She said
"But mom I don’t buckle the seat when I’m with you.." I looked at her
She shook her head and started the car "Not anymore"
I buckled my seatbelt and rested back. I know mom has been making me avoid having contact with cars because she's worried, and I really understand. That’s why I don’t argue with her on it.
We walked into the huge grocery store. Mom walked to the vegetables and I told her I’m going to get things from the Dairy section.
I walked into the aisle and stood in front of the stand full of milk products and scanned through the names. When I saw this girl putting different products in her cart.
I didn’t know which one to pick, so I walked up to her to ask for her guidance.
"Hello" I said smiling "I'm sorry but can I please know which product is the best?"
She turned to look at me but her smiling face slowly fell transforming into a look of disgust and loath. I watched her eyeing me then turned around and left.
I'm sure I didn’t say anything wrong. I'm sure I was respectful. What happened?
"Chanel!" Mom called and I turned to her. I took any of the products and walked to my mother at the checkout